In an attempt to get one news cycle ahead of the GOP, what would you guess will be their next hysterical end-of-the-world wedge issue to replace the Ground-Zero-adjacent Mosque for the right-wing-adjacent taking heads at CNN?
A) Rod Blagojevich plans on sneaking contraband drugs into jail under his wig, once he is sentenced.
B) Anchor trophy wives for Rush Limbaugh are a plot for him to get perscriptions in her name.
C) Liberals are blackmailing Target for exercising their Supreme Court given right to treat customers and staff like mushrooms. (i.e. keep them in the dark and feed them shit.)
D) Toy balloons are a secret plot to get children familar with condums.
E) Michele Obama is too butch and part of Muslim plot to "un-feminize" American women
F) Democrats have a secret anti-beer program. They also want to replace hard liquor with weed and tobacco with cocaine.
G) The guy next door is plotting to steal your newspaper, marry your daughter, molest your son and sign you up for a subscrption to "Modern Bride" magazinel.
H) Catholic churches are secret centers of papal indoctrination.
I) The Boy Scouts are the Morman "Hitler Youth".
J) White lines on the highway are a U.N. tracking system.
K) Public Sewage projects are socialized government intrusion and a way to keep track of what you eat.
L) Fish are spies.
M) CNN is the Fox News Bitch.
No comments:
Post a Comment