Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) held her own rally on Saturday, at which she said, "We're not going let anyone get away with saying there were less than a million here today because we were witnesses." What was the theme of her rally?
A) We're not going let anyone get away
B) There were less than a million wittnesses
C) We were witnesses to Michele's ego
D) The'Still Crazy After All These Years' Tour
E) The Only Candidate with Lithium as a Campaign plank.
F) Trairtors, UFOs, and Pink Elephants, all wrapped up in an American Flag.
G) When they came for the aliens, I was silent, When the came for the sane people, I was silent. When they came for the crazies, there was no one to defend me, exept Bob who lives in my purse. And nobody can hear him but me.
H) Big Teeth are NOT a sign of insanity.
I) Michele Bachmann has a pissing contest with Glenn Beck, and only Ameirca gets wet.
J) The "I have a dream in which little white children are guarded by pumpkin men" speech
K) A cry for help.
L) The Me, Me, Me Rally.
M) The "I have a Speech" dream.
N) Dumb and Dumber rally.
O) The Blather, Blather, Blather Rally.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
FRIDAY, AUGUST 27, 2010
The Strongest Reason Republicans Will Win in the Fall is...
A) Democratic Politicians are too rational
B) Democratic Politicians are too timid.
C) Democratic Politicians are still Hoping for a compromise.
D) Democartic Politicians are too "Middle of the Road."
E) Democartic polticians are not standing up for Liberal policies
F) Democartic polticians are not willing to sacrifice thier principles for victory.
G) Democartic politicians are proving to be just not very bright.
H) Democratic Politicians are have no leader.
I) Republcian Politicains have no morals.
J) Republican Polticians are falling in line behind Sara Barracuda..
K) Republican Politicians are willing to start World War Three in the name of electorial victory.
L) Republican Politicians are shameless media whores.
N) Fox News.
A) Democratic Politicians are too rational
B) Democratic Politicians are too timid.
C) Democratic Politicians are still Hoping for a compromise.
D) Democartic Politicians are too "Middle of the Road."
E) Democartic polticians are not standing up for Liberal policies
F) Democartic polticians are not willing to sacrifice thier principles for victory.
G) Democartic politicians are proving to be just not very bright.
H) Democratic Politicians are have no leader.
I) Republcian Politicains have no morals.
J) Republican Polticians are falling in line behind Sara Barracuda..
K) Republican Politicians are willing to start World War Three in the name of electorial victory.
L) Republican Politicians are shameless media whores.
N) Fox News.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 25, 2010
What Headline Should the Press be Using to Describe this Morning Ater the Primaries
A) Mainstream Press Lays Yet another Infected Egg.
B) Tea Party leaves moderate Republicans with fever, vomiting and diarrea.
C) Strange bird named John McCain Wins Arizona Primary. Denies eggs falling out of his butt are his.
D) CNN political reporters cracked, not hard boiled; Why are they such yokes?
E) Big Winner of the Night - Candidate Saul Manella demands fewer regulations at FDA.
F) Republican Talking Points egg on Dick Gregory's clucking on Meet the Nest.
G) Rube Paul shell shocked with egg all over his face after daddy Ron pecks holes in his egg-gadurated mosque nest mess.
H) Is Mother Hen Sara Palin's politicial impact ovum blown?
I) Chicken Little Glenn Beak, clucks over falling sky, crows at fryers dinner, "I have a Kentucky Fried Dream".
J) Sharon Angle beaks early. Says chicken or egg not the issue. Chicks are hens from the moment of infection, not big government inspection
K) Fox News still in the Hen House. "We are here to protect mother flockers from anchor pullets, suicide roosters and Islama-Hawks."
L) Top Rooster Rush Limbaugh proves over stuffed Oxy-moron bird brain, missies his own wake up call.
M) Micheal Steele in the soup. Uses his noodle and blames vegitarians for outbreak. "If they were eating chickens, there would be fewer infected eggs."
N) RNC shells for banks, has head up its own ovum.
O) Tea Party is an egg plant, a shell party to give the media something to cluck about.
A) Mainstream Press Lays Yet another Infected Egg.
B) Tea Party leaves moderate Republicans with fever, vomiting and diarrea.
C) Strange bird named John McCain Wins Arizona Primary. Denies eggs falling out of his butt are his.
D) CNN political reporters cracked, not hard boiled; Why are they such yokes?
E) Big Winner of the Night - Candidate Saul Manella demands fewer regulations at FDA.
F) Republican Talking Points egg on Dick Gregory's clucking on Meet the Nest.
G) Rube Paul shell shocked with egg all over his face after daddy Ron pecks holes in his egg-gadurated mosque nest mess.
H) Is Mother Hen Sara Palin's politicial impact ovum blown?
I) Chicken Little Glenn Beak, clucks over falling sky, crows at fryers dinner, "I have a Kentucky Fried Dream".
J) Sharon Angle beaks early. Says chicken or egg not the issue. Chicks are hens from the moment of infection, not big government inspection
K) Fox News still in the Hen House. "We are here to protect mother flockers from anchor pullets, suicide roosters and Islama-Hawks."
L) Top Rooster Rush Limbaugh proves over stuffed Oxy-moron bird brain, missies his own wake up call.
M) Micheal Steele in the soup. Uses his noodle and blames vegitarians for outbreak. "If they were eating chickens, there would be fewer infected eggs."
N) RNC shells for banks, has head up its own ovum.
O) Tea Party is an egg plant, a shell party to give the media something to cluck about.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
SUNDAY AUGUST 22, 2010
In an attempt to get one news cycle ahead of the GOP, what would you guess will be their next hysterical end-of-the-world wedge issue to replace the Ground-Zero-adjacent Mosque for the right-wing-adjacent taking heads at CNN?
A) Rod Blagojevich plans on sneaking contraband drugs into jail under his wig, once he is sentenced.
B) Anchor trophy wives for Rush Limbaugh are a plot for him to get perscriptions in her name.
C) Liberals are blackmailing Target for exercising their Supreme Court given right to treat customers and staff like mushrooms. (i.e. keep them in the dark and feed them shit.)
D) Toy balloons are a secret plot to get children familar with condums.
E) Michele Obama is too butch and part of Muslim plot to "un-feminize" American women
F) Democrats have a secret anti-beer program. They also want to replace hard liquor with weed and tobacco with cocaine.
G) The guy next door is plotting to steal your newspaper, marry your daughter, molest your son and sign you up for a subscrption to "Modern Bride" magazinel.
H) Catholic churches are secret centers of papal indoctrination.
I) The Boy Scouts are the Morman "Hitler Youth".
J) White lines on the highway are a U.N. tracking system.
K) Public Sewage projects are socialized government intrusion and a way to keep track of what you eat.
L) Fish are spies.
M) CNN is the Fox News Bitch.
A) Rod Blagojevich plans on sneaking contraband drugs into jail under his wig, once he is sentenced.
B) Anchor trophy wives for Rush Limbaugh are a plot for him to get perscriptions in her name.
C) Liberals are blackmailing Target for exercising their Supreme Court given right to treat customers and staff like mushrooms. (i.e. keep them in the dark and feed them shit.)
D) Toy balloons are a secret plot to get children familar with condums.
E) Michele Obama is too butch and part of Muslim plot to "un-feminize" American women
F) Democrats have a secret anti-beer program. They also want to replace hard liquor with weed and tobacco with cocaine.
G) The guy next door is plotting to steal your newspaper, marry your daughter, molest your son and sign you up for a subscrption to "Modern Bride" magazinel.
H) Catholic churches are secret centers of papal indoctrination.
I) The Boy Scouts are the Morman "Hitler Youth".
J) White lines on the highway are a U.N. tracking system.
K) Public Sewage projects are socialized government intrusion and a way to keep track of what you eat.
L) Fish are spies.
M) CNN is the Fox News Bitch.
Friday, August 20, 2010
FRIDAY, AUGUST 20, 2010
WHAT IS THE BEST EVIDENCE THAT OBAMA IS A SECRET MUSLIM?
A) Sara Palin thinks that he is. Well, she doesn't actually "think". But she suspects she thinks that he is.
B) He has not cheated on his wife like all those "Christian" politicians.
C) Because the Right is willing to believe that George Bush knocked himself out while watching football on TV alone, but not that Obama is a Christian.
D) Because Glenn Beck charted it all out on his blackboard. Or it was a diagram of a toliet on a submarine. But he said iit was the Muslim thing
E) Because Obama lacks the wide stance of any native born Christain politician.
F) His dog looks alien. I mean, Kneau Reeves alien.
G) Prostitutes. Where are the David Vitter prostitutes?
H) His entire concpet of polticis is alien to the right wing. No hate, no fear marketing, no war mongering. This guy is just weird
I) Because the Australian guy who lives in England and owns all that America media, is making a profit by saying Obama is an alien Muslim.
J) "No body ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American Public" P.T. Barnum
K) Either everybody on the right is wrong, or....No, Obama must be an alien Musim.
L) Because no real American would ever be a Muslim. Like Mohammad Ali, - I mean Cassius Clay.
M) Because Rush Limbaugh never lies. Unless he wants needs more Oxycontin ,or wants to cheat on another wife.
N) Because Sara Palin can't fit the Bill of Rights on a Twit.
A) Sara Palin thinks that he is. Well, she doesn't actually "think". But she suspects she thinks that he is.
B) He has not cheated on his wife like all those "Christian" politicians.
C) Because the Right is willing to believe that George Bush knocked himself out while watching football on TV alone, but not that Obama is a Christian.
D) Because Glenn Beck charted it all out on his blackboard. Or it was a diagram of a toliet on a submarine. But he said iit was the Muslim thing
E) Because Obama lacks the wide stance of any native born Christain politician.
F) His dog looks alien. I mean, Kneau Reeves alien.
G) Prostitutes. Where are the David Vitter prostitutes?
H) His entire concpet of polticis is alien to the right wing. No hate, no fear marketing, no war mongering. This guy is just weird
I) Because the Australian guy who lives in England and owns all that America media, is making a profit by saying Obama is an alien Muslim.
J) "No body ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American Public" P.T. Barnum
K) Either everybody on the right is wrong, or....No, Obama must be an alien Musim.
L) Because no real American would ever be a Muslim. Like Mohammad Ali, - I mean Cassius Clay.
M) Because Rush Limbaugh never lies. Unless he wants needs more Oxycontin ,or wants to cheat on another wife.
N) Because Sara Palin can't fit the Bill of Rights on a Twit.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 18, 2010
FOX NEWS' NEW TAG LINE TO REPLACE "FAIR AND BALANCE" SHOLD BE...?
A) Greedy and Power Mad.
B) As Fair as Old Joe Stalin. As Balanced as Timothy McVeigh.
C) We Lie to Everybody.
D) Capitalism, si. Democracy, non
E) Follow the Money.
F) Proving Liberal Conspiracy Freaks Right for ten years!
G) There is no "too far" in politics.
H) Politics is capitalism by other means.
I) News from the people you want to believe.
J) New and Opinion, equals New-Pinion.
K) We folliow the business model of George Orwell.
M) Eat this shit, Howard Kurtz, and smile,
N) Hey, you bought Kieth Oberman was the same as Bil O'Reilly. Why won't you swallow this?
O) Miight makes right. Far right.
P) Aren't you dieing to hear Neal Cavuto explain this one?
A) Greedy and Power Mad.
B) As Fair as Old Joe Stalin. As Balanced as Timothy McVeigh.
C) We Lie to Everybody.
D) Capitalism, si. Democracy, non
E) Follow the Money.
F) Proving Liberal Conspiracy Freaks Right for ten years!
G) There is no "too far" in politics.
H) Politics is capitalism by other means.
I) News from the people you want to believe.
J) New and Opinion, equals New-Pinion.
K) We folliow the business model of George Orwell.
M) Eat this shit, Howard Kurtz, and smile,
N) Hey, you bought Kieth Oberman was the same as Bil O'Reilly. Why won't you swallow this?
O) Miight makes right. Far right.
P) Aren't you dieing to hear Neal Cavuto explain this one?
Sunday, August 15, 2010
SUNDAY AUGUST 15, 2010
PICK YOUR LEAST FAVORITE TERROR BABY NAME (And Its Meaning).
A) Louie (Gohmert) - A Native American gomer loser.
B) Sara (Palin) -. Bluntly Stupid.
C) Sharon (Angle) - psychotic overbite
D) Glenn (Beck) - A flat open space between between tall trees, filled with big nasty bugs eating each other.
E) Laura (Schlessinger) - A shrill song bird.
F) John (Boehner) - An overly tanned animal hide.
G) Jack (Cafferty) - Unpleasant..
H) Greta (Van Susteren) - Mask of Complacency.
I) Snooki - destined to be drunk,
J) Naomi (Cambell) - Ugly to the core.
A) Louie (Gohmert) - A Native American gomer loser.
B) Sara (Palin) -. Bluntly Stupid.
C) Sharon (Angle) - psychotic overbite
D) Glenn (Beck) - A flat open space between between tall trees, filled with big nasty bugs eating each other.
E) Laura (Schlessinger) - A shrill song bird.
F) John (Boehner) - An overly tanned animal hide.
G) Jack (Cafferty) - Unpleasant..
H) Greta (Van Susteren) - Mask of Complacency.
I) Snooki - destined to be drunk,
J) Naomi (Cambell) - Ugly to the core.
Friday, August 13, 2010
FRIDAY, AUGUST 13, 2010
Rep. Timothy Horrigan (N.H. D) wrote on his Facebook page the "a dead Palin is more dangerous than a live one," In what way could this be true?
A) Cutting off zombie Palin's head would have no effect. She never uses her brain.
B) Her incoherent ramblings could be edited into an actual coherent poltiical message.
C) Her left hand could be removed, and could deliver messages and positions quickly, without the delay of having to be read by that idiot brain of her's.
D) Zombie Palin would be so much smarter than real Palin.
E) It's too late. She is already Zombie Palin. Has been for years.
F) Zombie Palin has a sense of hurmor, Living Palin does not.
G) Todd is the real brains here. Imagine what he could do if he were free to marry Ann Coulter?
H) Zombie Palin would make just as much sense as Living Palin, And for much longer.
I) She would not be. Zombies wander about in search of brains. Palin has never showed the slightest interest in brains.
J) Zombie Palin could be President by simplly eating the brains of her Republican competitors. Oh, wait. She already did that.
K) Zombie Palin would win the undead, securing Florida's electorial votes for Republicans.
L) Living Palin says something stupid like "I can see Russia from my house." All Zombies can say is "grrrr, grrrrr,." and "brains." Right there, she sounds smarter.
M) Zombie Palin is not nearly as scary as Living Palin. Zombie Palin would eat your brain. Living Palin would destroy your soul, living the brain so you would feel each agonizing insult to your intelligence.
A) Cutting off zombie Palin's head would have no effect. She never uses her brain.
B) Her incoherent ramblings could be edited into an actual coherent poltiical message.
C) Her left hand could be removed, and could deliver messages and positions quickly, without the delay of having to be read by that idiot brain of her's.
D) Zombie Palin would be so much smarter than real Palin.
E) It's too late. She is already Zombie Palin. Has been for years.
F) Zombie Palin has a sense of hurmor, Living Palin does not.
G) Todd is the real brains here. Imagine what he could do if he were free to marry Ann Coulter?
H) Zombie Palin would make just as much sense as Living Palin, And for much longer.
I) She would not be. Zombies wander about in search of brains. Palin has never showed the slightest interest in brains.
J) Zombie Palin could be President by simplly eating the brains of her Republican competitors. Oh, wait. She already did that.
K) Zombie Palin would win the undead, securing Florida's electorial votes for Republicans.
L) Living Palin says something stupid like "I can see Russia from my house." All Zombies can say is "grrrr, grrrrr,." and "brains." Right there, she sounds smarter.
M) Zombie Palin is not nearly as scary as Living Palin. Zombie Palin would eat your brain. Living Palin would destroy your soul, living the brain so you would feel each agonizing insult to your intelligence.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
WEDNESDAY AUGUST 11, 2010
White House press secretary Robert Gibbs has said that "crazy" liberals "wouldn’t be satisfied if Dennis Kucinich was president.” What would be the first thing you would expect from a Kucinich administration?
A) Wild insane giggling for several days.
B) Ending the "You have to be this tall for this ride" restrictions on Air Force One.
C) Restoring food stamps for the poor, and the grocery store chains, and the Ag Corperations.
D) Investigating John Boehner's connections to the tanning industry.
E) Having songwriter Randy Neuman deported under the Patriot Act.
F) Rezoning Cleveland as a National Park, and the residents as Endangered Species.
G) Cutting the "no brain party of no" down to size. His size. And then beating the tar out of them.
H) Issuing an order of protection for Elizabeth Kucinich against Silvio Berlusconi and Nicolas Sarkozy.
I) Establishing a "Public Option" for members of Congress, which would require them to listen to the public as often as to the corporations.
J) Establisning "Don't Tax, Don't Spell", allowing gay members of the military to pay a tax to avoid spelling tests, because that makes as much sense as "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"
K) Short men would suddenly be seen as very sexy.
A) Wild insane giggling for several days.
B) Ending the "You have to be this tall for this ride" restrictions on Air Force One.
C) Restoring food stamps for the poor, and the grocery store chains, and the Ag Corperations.
D) Investigating John Boehner's connections to the tanning industry.
E) Having songwriter Randy Neuman deported under the Patriot Act.
F) Rezoning Cleveland as a National Park, and the residents as Endangered Species.
G) Cutting the "no brain party of no" down to size. His size. And then beating the tar out of them.
H) Issuing an order of protection for Elizabeth Kucinich against Silvio Berlusconi and Nicolas Sarkozy.
I) Establishing a "Public Option" for members of Congress, which would require them to listen to the public as often as to the corporations.
J) Establisning "Don't Tax, Don't Spell", allowing gay members of the military to pay a tax to avoid spelling tests, because that makes as much sense as "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"
K) Short men would suddenly be seen as very sexy.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
TUESDAY, AUGUST 10, 2010
My Favorite Flight Attendent
From the New York Daily News - August 10, 2010
By Alison Gendar, Oren Yaniv and Dave Goldiner
"A JetBlue flight attendant blew his top, grabbed some beer and bolted out an emergency slide at Kennedy Airport Monday...After he was bonked in the head by a bag...As the flight from Pittsburgh pulled up to the gate about noon...(he grabbed the intercom and announced) "To the f-----g a--hole who told me to f--k off, it's been a good 28 years," Slater, 38, purred, cops said. "I've had it. That's it..."
"The mad-as-hell steward grabbed a couple of brewskis and popped one open before activating the emergency exit...After tossing his two carry-on bags on the slide, he followed them to the tarmac....said passenger Phil Catelinet, 36, of Brooklyn..."He seemed kind of happy about it."
He apparently reached his breaking point on Flight 1052 when a passenger tried to get a bag from the overhead compartment and it clocked Slater on the head, cops said...(When he asked for an apology) the passenger cursed at Slater...Slater was wearing a sheepish smile when Port Authority detectives walked him to a waiting van (from his home) a few hours later. He was charged with reckless endangerment and criminal mischief."
Okay, who do you think was the person who refused to say she was sorry for hitting Steven in the head?
A) Sara Palin. At first glance she thought he was Levi. Or maybe Todd.
B) Susan Angle. She did not give him permission to question her.
C) Naomi Campbell. She thought the attendent might have been that blabber mouth Mia Farrow.
D) Nicole 'Snooki' (. I was a public nuisance — big deal!")Polizzi. She thought Steven was another one of those jerks from Access Hollywood. Or the National Endowement for the Arts.
E) Meg Whitman. What's the big deal? She thought the flight attendant worked for her.
F) Carly Fiorna. She thought Steven was wearing a wire.
G) Blanche Lincoln. She thought the guy wanted to ask about the public option.
H) Gretchen Carlson. She mistook Steven for a Fox News Executive.
I) Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Because she saw a "desperacy" in his eyes.
J) Ann ("Christ died for my sins and nothing else matters) Coulter. She was just publicing yet another book.
K) Michele Bachmann. She needs a reason? Okay, she thought he was plotting to invade the earth.
M) Michelle Malkin. She thought he was that darn Jamil Hussein impersonator again.
From the New York Daily News - August 10, 2010
By Alison Gendar, Oren Yaniv and Dave Goldiner
"A JetBlue flight attendant blew his top, grabbed some beer and bolted out an emergency slide at Kennedy Airport Monday...After he was bonked in the head by a bag...As the flight from Pittsburgh pulled up to the gate about noon...(he grabbed the intercom and announced) "To the f-----g a--hole who told me to f--k off, it's been a good 28 years," Slater, 38, purred, cops said. "I've had it. That's it..."
"The mad-as-hell steward grabbed a couple of brewskis and popped one open before activating the emergency exit...After tossing his two carry-on bags on the slide, he followed them to the tarmac....said passenger Phil Catelinet, 36, of Brooklyn..."He seemed kind of happy about it."
He apparently reached his breaking point on Flight 1052 when a passenger tried to get a bag from the overhead compartment and it clocked Slater on the head, cops said...(When he asked for an apology) the passenger cursed at Slater...Slater was wearing a sheepish smile when Port Authority detectives walked him to a waiting van (from his home) a few hours later. He was charged with reckless endangerment and criminal mischief."
Okay, who do you think was the person who refused to say she was sorry for hitting Steven in the head?
A) Sara Palin. At first glance she thought he was Levi. Or maybe Todd.
B) Susan Angle. She did not give him permission to question her.
C) Naomi Campbell. She thought the attendent might have been that blabber mouth Mia Farrow.
D) Nicole 'Snooki' (. I was a public nuisance — big deal!")Polizzi. She thought Steven was another one of those jerks from Access Hollywood. Or the National Endowement for the Arts.
E) Meg Whitman. What's the big deal? She thought the flight attendant worked for her.
F) Carly Fiorna. She thought Steven was wearing a wire.
G) Blanche Lincoln. She thought the guy wanted to ask about the public option.
H) Gretchen Carlson. She mistook Steven for a Fox News Executive.
I) Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Because she saw a "desperacy" in his eyes.
J) Ann ("Christ died for my sins and nothing else matters) Coulter. She was just publicing yet another book.
K) Michele Bachmann. She needs a reason? Okay, she thought he was plotting to invade the earth.
M) Michelle Malkin. She thought he was that darn Jamil Hussein impersonator again.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
SUNDAY, AUGUST 8, 2010
Recently, Glenn Beck described the Obama Administration as follows: “What planet have I landed on? Did I slip through a worm hole in the middle of the night and this looks like America? It's like the damn “Planet of the Apes”. Nothing makes sense! “What movie do you think best describes Glen Beck’s universe?
A) Attack of the Crab Monsters …1957 "Once they were men. Now they are land crabs."
B) Glen or Glenda (1953) "I can't make sense to myself sometimes."
C) Howard The Duck (1986) "It's not nice to fool with the dark overlords!"
D) Troll 2 (1990) "Do you see this writing...? Do you know what it means...?"
E) Battlefield Earth (2000) "Stupid humans"
F) House of the Dead (2003) "“These are zombies, pure and simple."
G) The Man With Two Brains (1987) "I can envision a day when the brains of brilliant men can be kept alive in the bodies of dumb people."
H) The Brain that Wouldn’t Die (1963) “Oh, come on now, Doris. Do I look like a maniac who goes around killing girls?”
I) THE LIFE OF BRIAN (1979) “How shall we fuck off, O Lord?”
J) DESPICABLE ME (2010) “Aargh! Curse you, tiny toilet!”
K) DUCK SOUP (1933) “Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot."
L) A FACE IN THE CROWD (1957) “I'm not just an entertainer. I'm an influence, a wielder of opinion, a force... a force!”
M) ALIEN (1979) “Whenever he says anything you say "right," Brett, you know that?” "Right."
N) The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965) “When I ask "Who's there", why do you answer "Me"? “It WAS me, Peter.”
O) Night of the Creeps (1986) “You sonuva bitch. I already killed you.”
A) Attack of the Crab Monsters …1957 "Once they were men. Now they are land crabs."
B) Glen or Glenda (1953) "I can't make sense to myself sometimes."
C) Howard The Duck (1986) "It's not nice to fool with the dark overlords!"
D) Troll 2 (1990) "Do you see this writing...? Do you know what it means...?"
E) Battlefield Earth (2000) "Stupid humans"
F) House of the Dead (2003) "“These are zombies, pure and simple."
G) The Man With Two Brains (1987) "I can envision a day when the brains of brilliant men can be kept alive in the bodies of dumb people."
H) The Brain that Wouldn’t Die (1963) “Oh, come on now, Doris. Do I look like a maniac who goes around killing girls?”
I) THE LIFE OF BRIAN (1979) “How shall we fuck off, O Lord?”
J) DESPICABLE ME (2010) “Aargh! Curse you, tiny toilet!”
K) DUCK SOUP (1933) “Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot."
L) A FACE IN THE CROWD (1957) “I'm not just an entertainer. I'm an influence, a wielder of opinion, a force... a force!”
M) ALIEN (1979) “Whenever he says anything you say "right," Brett, you know that?” "Right."
N) The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965) “When I ask "Who's there", why do you answer "Me"? “It WAS me, Peter.”
O) Night of the Creeps (1986) “You sonuva bitch. I already killed you.”
Friday, August 6, 2010
FRIDAY, AUGUST 6, 2010
Nevada Republican Senate candidate Sharron Angle says that the actions of the Federal government are a “violation of the First Commandment” . Which do you consider your favorite (first) commandment in the Sharon Angle list?
A) I am the lord thy Sharon Angle who brought you out of the land of sanity. Thou shalt have no loonies before me.
B) Thou shalt not make for yourself an Obama who speaks sanity. For I am a jealous paranoid, punishing the unemployed to the third or fourth extension of their umemployement benefits, because their very existence is inconvienent to my insanity.
C) But showing stedfast love of Sharon Agnle will make her happy unto the sixth generation of her manic phase.
D) Thou shalt not take the name of Sharon Angle in vain, or ask her troublesome questions or bring up troublesome statements she made in her depressive stage.
C) Observe the day of Sharon Angle’s birth and ask not questions that might give away her age.
D) For six days you will labor without the onerous burden of minimum wage. But on the seventh day you shall have no job and no unemployement you lazy shiftless Democratic piece of trash.
E) Honor Sharon Angle’s father and mother. And know that they pampered her, because they knew she was chosen by God to be a Senator becasuse. Lo, her feces held no stink.
F) Thou shalt not kill, unless we are talking about an abortion doctor, or a convicted murder, because God would never allow a prosecutor and jury and judge to make a mistake, because a valid appeal would distupt the life of Sharon Angle.
G) Nobody shall ever committ adultry. Ever. Because I am Sharon Angle and I will not tolerate anyone questioning Sharon Angles’ values, particularly Sharon Angle.
H) You shall not steal from Sharon Angle.
I) You shall not bear false wittness against Sharon Angle. Or embarrising witness.
J) You shall all covet Sharon Angle’s beauty and smarts. But nobody else’s.
K) You shall not question Sharon Angle's sanity. For, Lo, she shall become the new standard for sanity and beauty. And height.
L) Woe be to those who anger Sharon Angle, for she shall smite you and your tea bags shall wither.
A) I am the lord thy Sharon Angle who brought you out of the land of sanity. Thou shalt have no loonies before me.
B) Thou shalt not make for yourself an Obama who speaks sanity. For I am a jealous paranoid, punishing the unemployed to the third or fourth extension of their umemployement benefits, because their very existence is inconvienent to my insanity.
C) But showing stedfast love of Sharon Agnle will make her happy unto the sixth generation of her manic phase.
D) Thou shalt not take the name of Sharon Angle in vain, or ask her troublesome questions or bring up troublesome statements she made in her depressive stage.
C) Observe the day of Sharon Angle’s birth and ask not questions that might give away her age.
D) For six days you will labor without the onerous burden of minimum wage. But on the seventh day you shall have no job and no unemployement you lazy shiftless Democratic piece of trash.
E) Honor Sharon Angle’s father and mother. And know that they pampered her, because they knew she was chosen by God to be a Senator becasuse. Lo, her feces held no stink.
F) Thou shalt not kill, unless we are talking about an abortion doctor, or a convicted murder, because God would never allow a prosecutor and jury and judge to make a mistake, because a valid appeal would distupt the life of Sharon Angle.
G) Nobody shall ever committ adultry. Ever. Because I am Sharon Angle and I will not tolerate anyone questioning Sharon Angles’ values, particularly Sharon Angle.
H) You shall not steal from Sharon Angle.
I) You shall not bear false wittness against Sharon Angle. Or embarrising witness.
J) You shall all covet Sharon Angle’s beauty and smarts. But nobody else’s.
K) You shall not question Sharon Angle's sanity. For, Lo, she shall become the new standard for sanity and beauty. And height.
L) Woe be to those who anger Sharon Angle, for she shall smite you and your tea bags shall wither.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 4, 2010
Senate Republican leader Mitch McConnell told “The Hill”, that the 14th Amendment should be reviewed. Over the last twenty years, which constitutional amendments has congress not sought to rewrite? (http://www.usconstitution.net/constamprop.html)
A) The 8th : to prohibit jail time for traffic offenses
B) The 16th: to prohibit income taxes.
C) The 22nd.: to remove the two term limits on Presidential service
D) The 2nd; to ban the private ownership of firearms
E) The 26th: to allow 16 year olds to vote.
F) The 3rd: to allow soldiers to be quartered in any house.
G) The 13th to allow “involuntary servitude” for personal bankruptcy.
H) The 19th; To allow the right to vote to be denied in cases of homosexuality.
I) The 24th; To deny the right to vote because of unpaid taxes
A) The 8th : to prohibit jail time for traffic offenses
B) The 16th: to prohibit income taxes.
C) The 22nd.: to remove the two term limits on Presidential service
D) The 2nd; to ban the private ownership of firearms
E) The 26th: to allow 16 year olds to vote.
F) The 3rd: to allow soldiers to be quartered in any house.
G) The 13th to allow “involuntary servitude” for personal bankruptcy.
H) The 19th; To allow the right to vote to be denied in cases of homosexuality.
I) The 24th; To deny the right to vote because of unpaid taxes
Sunday, August 1, 2010
SUNDAY, AUGUST 1, 2010
Glen Beck said yesterday, ""I expose the Tides Foundation and show you what it is, and I am now responsible for terrorists attacks?" This statement is proof that Glen is...?
A) Out of his fucking mind.
B) As looney as Byron Williams, who, armed with a high-powered rifle, a shotgun, a handgun and body armor, opened fire on police, on his way to attack the Tide Foundation,
C) The perfect Fox star; a disposable lighter.
D) Actuallly a performance artist playing a paranoid psychoitic just for laughs.
E) A long time bed wetter.
F) An eventual suicide.
G) Losing his grip on reality since "Days of Our Lives" was cancelled.
H) A lonely, lonely man.
I) The biggest loon on the right since Richard Nixon.
J) Dependant for his medication from Roger Ailes.
K) Claiming credit for Byron Williams actions, in case anybody missed the story.
L) a drooler.
M) A classic Fruedian case of penis envy.
N) One really rich really crazy man
A) Out of his fucking mind.
B) As looney as Byron Williams, who, armed with a high-powered rifle, a shotgun, a handgun and body armor, opened fire on police, on his way to attack the Tide Foundation,
C) The perfect Fox star; a disposable lighter.
D) Actuallly a performance artist playing a paranoid psychoitic just for laughs.
E) A long time bed wetter.
F) An eventual suicide.
G) Losing his grip on reality since "Days of Our Lives" was cancelled.
H) A lonely, lonely man.
I) The biggest loon on the right since Richard Nixon.
J) Dependant for his medication from Roger Ailes.
K) Claiming credit for Byron Williams actions, in case anybody missed the story.
L) a drooler.
M) A classic Fruedian case of penis envy.
N) One really rich really crazy man
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