Now that the "Top Kill" has failed, British Petroleum's next course of action should be...
A) Having all the fish in the Gulf labeled as terrorists.
B) A new advertising campaign, with a new spokesperson - Rand Paul - the face of BP
C) Reminding everybody that oil is a natural substance, not artifiical, and biodegradable - eventually.
D) The new state bird of Lousiana - the gasping gull.
E) The new state fish: the oil eating microbe.
F) Change their name to Bullshit Petrolieum
G) Replacing the drilling mud with greed dye, and in their ads call it BP's "green" revolution
H) Tar and feather Dick Cheney.
I) Dissolve their corporate structure in the United States, and just walk away. BP? Haven't seen them in weeks
J) Release photos of John Edwards having oral sex with a pregnant Rielle Hunter, and hope the press is distracted.
K) Just turn the Gulf into a parking lot. Rename it the Gulf of Ample Parking.
L) Remind everybody, all that oil in the gulf, if proof there is no oil shortage.
M) New soft drink: Diet Oil.
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