British Petroleum announced first quarter profits of $5.6 billion. How should that profit be spent?
A) Hire more lobbiests.
B) Hire more ex-senators.
C) Put Bobby Jindal on steroids. And get him to eat some more. And make him taller.
D) Buy an auditory blowout valve for the Deepwater Horizon platform - last year.
E) Hire more corporate lawyers.
F) Buy off Greenpeace.
G) Buy more TV ads, with really nifty music.
H) Buy replacement sea gulls, clams and fish.
I) Buy more vacation homes for top management.
J) Hire another couple of Public Relations firm.
K) Hire more ex-regulators.
L) Reperations to Lousiana.
M) Bury another Supreme Court Justice or two.
N) Ear plugs.
O) Buy the Pelican Brief.
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