SUNDAY, JULY 29, 2010 UPPER CLASS TWIT OF THE YEAR

Which is your favorite (real) British press reaction to Mitt Romney?

A) Mitt the Twitt.

B) The Golden Gaffe

C) The No Where Man.

D) Should Have Stayed at a Holiday Inn Express.

E) A Charm Offensive...More Offensive, Than Charming

F) We are speechless

G) Party Pooper Romney

H) Good God, what is he going to say to China?

I) Just Daft

J) Isn’t even qualified to represent the U.S. as a tourist

K) The American Borat

L) Total car crash. Worse than Sarah Palin.

M) Devoid of Charm, Warmth, Humour or Sincerity

N) Romney is a “wazzock”

O) Do we have a new Dubya on our hands?

FRIDAY, JULY 27, 2012. OPEN MOUTH, INSERT FOOT

The London Telegraph 7/25/2012: “one (Romney adviser) suggested...We are part of an Anglo-Saxon heritage...” What is the strongest tie between Romney and Great Britain?

A) Buckingham Guards bearskin caps and Mitt's hair require the same grease

B) Their empires were both built on the backs of the working class

C) Face to face they find each other “disconcerting”

D) Neither one drinks coffee

E) Both treat their queen with respect but give her no power

F) Both still think disco is “radical”, they just define the word differently

G) Their common enemy has always been the Catholic Church

H) One is stiff and dull and both think its the other one

I) Both are too polite to tell the truth

J) Neither one really likes the Canadians

K) Both think the other one likes them, and both are wrong

L) Both prefer to think of modern England as white

M) Neither trust the other one to run the world

N) Neither one publicly admits to liking the French

O) Both think the modern Republican Party is filled with idiots

SUNDAY, JULY 22, 2012 - COMIC CON-servative

Bane - villain of the Dark Knight Rises - is a homonym for Mitt Romney's equity firm, Bain Capital. But what is Romney's ultimate Batman villain?

A) Clayface - Also known as (AKA) Mitt Romney

B) The Actuary – AKA Romney's $405 million IRA in the Cayman Islands

C) The Sewer King – AKA Karl Rove

D) The Joker – AKA Donald Trump

E) Penny Plunder – AKA Ex-Governor Sara Palin

F) Professor Pyg – AKA Charles Krauthammer

G) Mr. Freeze – AKA JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon

H) The Riddler – AKA Rep. John Boehner

I) Poison Ivy – AKA Rep Michele Bachmann

J) False-Face – AKA Senator Mitch McConnell

K) The Spook – AKA Governor John Sununu

L) The Ventriloquist – AKA Billionaire Sheldon Adelson

M) The Penguin – AKA Newt Gingrich

N) Phosphorus Rex - AKA Rep. John Bohner

O) The Tax Man – AKA the tax man

FRIDAY, JULY 20, 2012 CONSPIRACY THEORY

Gallup Poll: Congress's approval rating in June fell to 16 %. Who are most likely members of that 16%?

A) Half the members of congress and staff

B) The Ewing family of Dallas

C) Fox News

D) Mr. C. Montgomery Burns

E) Rand Paul and immediate family

F) Publisher of “A Dummy's Guide to being a Congress-person”

G) Gus Firing (Breaking Bad)

H) Bane (Dark Knight Rises)

I) Immediate family's of Beavis and Butthead

J) Any member of the Borgias

K) Scrooge McDuck

L) Ted Nugent

M) Lex Luther

N) Employees of U. N. Black Helicopter Supply Company

O) Wille E. Coyote

SUNDAY, JULY 15, 2012 MR. PUTZ

After meeting with Jewish community leaders Maine Gov.Paul LePage apologized for his “insensitivity” in comparing the IRS to the Gestapo. What else should LaPage apologize for?

A) Being a general dick

B) Insisting that welfare recipients take drug tests

C) Trying to loosen child labor laws

D) His political philosophy is "old crude and cranky white guy"

E) He buys his suits from funeral homes

F) Portland has a higher % of seniors than Fort Lauderdale

G) He told the NAACP to kiss his butt

H) For not being as fat as Chris Christie, and not as smart either

I) Mediocrity should not a policy goal

J) The movie “Welcome to Mooseport”

K) At least two of his three chins

L) Confirming the theory that “Tea Party” is code for, “Stupid”.

M) Sorry about the women with “little beards”, remark

N) Maine has four seasons - Mud Spring, Summer Flies, Cold Fall, and Winter Froze-My-Nuts-Off

O) Still waiting for my apology from Stephen King for “Cujo”

FRIDAY, JULY 13. 2012 THROWING STONES

National Journal survey: House GOP's female staffers average about $10 K less per year then male staffers. How should the GOP explain this?

A) Let them eat wedding cake

B) The girls don't have families to support

C) They would just use the extra money to get abortions

D) Traditional family values

E) Its the David Vitter “prostitute allowance”

F) Well, its certainly not part of any war on women

G) Yes, but we didn't pay Mark Foley's male page, anything!

H) Oops?

I) The National Journal is a socialist mouthpiece

J) Slugs and snails and puppy dog's tails cost more than sugar and spice

K) But the guys don't get flowers on Secretaries' Day

L) Girls spend more time in the bathroom, so hourly it evens out

M) Just following National Restaurant Association guidelines, and tipping is allowed

N) The Congressman will get back to you.

O) There are women on my staff?

SUNDAY, JULY 8, 2012 WITH FRIENDS LIKE THIS

Not Again!

Trump spokesman: “It would seem obvious that Donald Trump will play a role in the Tampa convention,” What job would you give Donald?

A) Hall Monitor

B) Delegate from the great state of Delusion

C) Chairman of the Hair Club for Men Committee

D) Sitting on Ron Paul during nominating speeches

E) Lithium connection for Orly Taitz

F) Winning!

G) Speech on the importance of being Donald Trump

H) Firing Arsenio Hall

I) Announcing pizza breaks

J) Balloons

K) “Wall mart” greeter in lobby of Tampa Times Forum

L) Hosting Daytime Emmys

M) Blocking all mention of 52 story Trump Tower Tampa

N) Providing coverage color – Orange.

O) Sucking up all excess oxygen.

FRICDAY, JULY 6, 2012 SECRETS

What is the pass-word for Mitt Romney's most secret Swiss bank account?

A) Flying-Sheamus

B) Taxes-R-4-Little-People

C) Fuck-the-WSJ

D) Trickle-down-this

E) Trumps-Bitch

F) Not-Pawlenty

G) SCOTUS-Bust

H) Jersey-fatboy

I) Selling-short

J) Winning

K) Still-Running

L) Grecian-Formula

M) Etch-a-sketch

N) Roof-dog

O) Rather-B-Investing

SUNDAY, JULY 1, 2012. FRIEND OR PRINCIPLE?

Which Country and Western song are Republicans now singing to Chief Justice Roberts?

A) I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy

B) You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat

C) I Can't Love Your Body If Your Heart's Not In It

D) If The Jukebox Took Teardrops I'd Cry All Night Long

E) I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well

F) I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You

G) I Just Can't Get Over How You've Gotten Over Me

H) Walk Out Backwards Slowly So I'll Think You're Walking In

I) She Even Woke Me Up to Say Goodbye

J) I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here

K) The One on the Left is On The Right

L) I've Been Flushed from the Bathroom of Your Heart

M) If you won't leave me, I'll find someone who will

N) Well, it's been so lonesome in the saddle since my horse died.

O) If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You.