British Petroleum announced first quarter profits of $5.6 billion. How should that profit be spent?
A) Hire more lobbiests.
B) Hire more ex-senators.
C) Put Bobby Jindal on steroids. And get him to eat some more. And make him taller.
D) Buy an auditory blowout valve for the Deepwater Horizon platform - last year.
E) Hire more corporate lawyers.
F) Buy off Greenpeace.
G) Buy more TV ads, with really nifty music.
H) Buy replacement sea gulls, clams and fish.
I) Buy more vacation homes for top management.
J) Hire another couple of Public Relations firm.
K) Hire more ex-regulators.
L) Reperations to Lousiana.
M) Bury another Supreme Court Justice or two.
N) Ear plugs.
O) Buy the Pelican Brief.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
THURSDAY APRIL 29, 2010
Washington Post Staff Writer Thursday, April 29, 2010
"For the third day in a row, Sen. Ben Nelson (D-Neb.) broke with his Democratic colleagues Wednesday and voted to block the start of formal Senate debate on a far-reaching bill to overhaul financial regulations....there has been widespread skepticism on Capitol Hill about Nelson's public explanation for his dissent, and the bill's sponsor, Sen. Christopher J. Dodd (D-Conn.), added further doubts by saying that Nelson raised concerns about a provision concerning exotic financial instruments called derivatives. That provision has drawn fire from Berkshire Hathaway, the Omaha-based company of billionaire Warren Buffett, and Nelson's biggest donor over the past decade. (Buffett is a director of The Washington Post Co.)
Berkshire Hathaway or individuals associated with the company have contributed $75,550 to Nelson's campaign war chest since 2000...The aide said Berkshire Hathaway and "a lot of other parties" had lobbied for the exemption. But the exemption was dropped from a final version of the legislation...Nelson acknowledged that Berkshire Hathaway had contacted him to say it would be "adversely affected" by the new derivatives legislation. In turn, Nelson said he raised those concerns with the Agriculture Committee.
Nelson's most recent financial disclosure form, filed last year, shows that he and his wife owned between $1.5 million and $6 million in Berkshire stock in 2008 -- by far Nelson's largest listed asset."
What would you say is the most likely reason Ben Nelson was opposed to debating financial reform?
A) He's an idiot.
B) He was honestly concerned that the reform bill would crush capitalism in America.
C( He's a greedy selfish putz.
D) He does not believe big government is equal to the task of regulatiing big business.
E) If you can't protect your own wallet, what's the point in being a United States Senator?
G) He merely wanted to nail down certain loose ends before letting the opposition party attack the bill.
H) His wife made him do it.
J) The Sentator voted his concious; "No".
K) You aren't from Oklahoma. It's none of your darn business.
L) And if you are from Oklahoma, I'm not giving up my money for this crummy job.
M) What? You think being rich and powerful comes cheap?
N) This econimic crises calls for sacrifice from all of us. Senator Nelson has sacrificed his sense of honesty.
O) Greed is good.
I) Can't we all just get along? And leave my money alone.
"For the third day in a row, Sen. Ben Nelson (D-Neb.) broke with his Democratic colleagues Wednesday and voted to block the start of formal Senate debate on a far-reaching bill to overhaul financial regulations....there has been widespread skepticism on Capitol Hill about Nelson's public explanation for his dissent, and the bill's sponsor, Sen. Christopher J. Dodd (D-Conn.), added further doubts by saying that Nelson raised concerns about a provision concerning exotic financial instruments called derivatives. That provision has drawn fire from Berkshire Hathaway, the Omaha-based company of billionaire Warren Buffett, and Nelson's biggest donor over the past decade. (Buffett is a director of The Washington Post Co.)
Berkshire Hathaway or individuals associated with the company have contributed $75,550 to Nelson's campaign war chest since 2000...The aide said Berkshire Hathaway and "a lot of other parties" had lobbied for the exemption. But the exemption was dropped from a final version of the legislation...Nelson acknowledged that Berkshire Hathaway had contacted him to say it would be "adversely affected" by the new derivatives legislation. In turn, Nelson said he raised those concerns with the Agriculture Committee.
Nelson's most recent financial disclosure form, filed last year, shows that he and his wife owned between $1.5 million and $6 million in Berkshire stock in 2008 -- by far Nelson's largest listed asset."
What would you say is the most likely reason Ben Nelson was opposed to debating financial reform?
A) He's an idiot.
B) He was honestly concerned that the reform bill would crush capitalism in America.
C( He's a greedy selfish putz.
D) He does not believe big government is equal to the task of regulatiing big business.
E) If you can't protect your own wallet, what's the point in being a United States Senator?
G) He merely wanted to nail down certain loose ends before letting the opposition party attack the bill.
H) His wife made him do it.
J) The Sentator voted his concious; "No".
K) You aren't from Oklahoma. It's none of your darn business.
L) And if you are from Oklahoma, I'm not giving up my money for this crummy job.
M) What? You think being rich and powerful comes cheap?
N) This econimic crises calls for sacrifice from all of us. Senator Nelson has sacrificed his sense of honesty.
O) Greed is good.
I) Can't we all just get along? And leave my money alone.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 28, 2010
GOLDMAN'S JUSTIFICATIONS BEFORE THE SENATE COMMITTEE CAN BEST BE SUMMERIZED BY WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOTTOS?
A) Heads we win, tails you lose, and we take the service charge up front.
B) We are an ancient institution; a bordello. Gambling on the ground floor. Whore house on the second floor. And we bury the bodies in the basement.
C) Screw you.
D) Taking your money with a smile for fifty years.
E) These are the scariest words in the English language; "You can't trust your own government".
F) Can you give me a hit, man? I just need a hundred million to get me through the night. I'm Jonesin' for a hundred mill.
G) Respect the Senators? They cost me less than my shoe budget!
H) Originally we called it Goldman Sucks, but that seemed a little too obvious.
I) The one who dies with the most toys, wins.
J) If God did not want them shorn, he would not have made them sheep.
A) Heads we win, tails you lose, and we take the service charge up front.
B) We are an ancient institution; a bordello. Gambling on the ground floor. Whore house on the second floor. And we bury the bodies in the basement.
C) Screw you.
D) Taking your money with a smile for fifty years.
E) These are the scariest words in the English language; "You can't trust your own government".
F) Can you give me a hit, man? I just need a hundred million to get me through the night. I'm Jonesin' for a hundred mill.
G) Respect the Senators? They cost me less than my shoe budget!
H) Originally we called it Goldman Sucks, but that seemed a little too obvious.
I) The one who dies with the most toys, wins.
J) If God did not want them shorn, he would not have made them sheep.
Monday, April 26, 2010
MONDAY APRIL 26, 2010
Democrats, Pressuring G.O.P., Unite on Finance Bill
By DAVID M. HERSZENHORN
Published: NYTimes - April 25, 2010
"...The agreement among Democrats would...raised the pressure on Senate Republicans, who said that they were still fighting for changes to the bill and planned to block the start of floor debate in a first procedural vote on Monday....Senator Richard C. Shelby of Alabama said on Sunday that his party was still prepared to block debate of the bill as he fought for additional changes, including what he described as tight guarantees against future taxpayer bailouts of banks....Will we get a bill by tomorrow? I doubt it," Mr. Shelby said on NBC’s "Meet the Press." ...Told that the two sides seemed close, Mr. Shelby said it wasn’t clear. "Inches sometimes are miles," he said.
What would be a better idiom to describe the Republican strategy?
A) Some times idiots are geniuses.
B) Sometimes shrimp are jumbo.
C) Never stop your opponent when he is making a mustake.
D) If cats were not supposed to throw up, God would not have provided them with such a ready supply of fur.
E) You can fool all of the people some of the time, and usually that is enough.
F) Step on a crack, and break your mother's back; Republican Health care reform. Penny wise and pound Foolish; Republican Bank reform.
G) Sometimes smart is stupid. But stupid is never smart. And smart asses never win.
H) If God didn't love the super rich, he would not have made them Republicans.
J) RINO - Republican In No Only.
K) Lying is not a sin. It is a political philosophy.
L) Self delusion is profitable only when you are being paid to be stupid.
M) Don't tell me what you need, unless you first tell me why I should care,
N) Deaf and dumb is not a physical condition, it is a political party
By DAVID M. HERSZENHORN
Published: NYTimes - April 25, 2010
"...The agreement among Democrats would...raised the pressure on Senate Republicans, who said that they were still fighting for changes to the bill and planned to block the start of floor debate in a first procedural vote on Monday....Senator Richard C. Shelby of Alabama said on Sunday that his party was still prepared to block debate of the bill as he fought for additional changes, including what he described as tight guarantees against future taxpayer bailouts of banks....Will we get a bill by tomorrow? I doubt it," Mr. Shelby said on NBC’s "Meet the Press." ...Told that the two sides seemed close, Mr. Shelby said it wasn’t clear. "Inches sometimes are miles," he said.
What would be a better idiom to describe the Republican strategy?
A) Some times idiots are geniuses.
B) Sometimes shrimp are jumbo.
C) Never stop your opponent when he is making a mustake.
D) If cats were not supposed to throw up, God would not have provided them with such a ready supply of fur.
E) You can fool all of the people some of the time, and usually that is enough.
F) Step on a crack, and break your mother's back; Republican Health care reform. Penny wise and pound Foolish; Republican Bank reform.
G) Sometimes smart is stupid. But stupid is never smart. And smart asses never win.
H) If God didn't love the super rich, he would not have made them Republicans.
J) RINO - Republican In No Only.
K) Lying is not a sin. It is a political philosophy.
L) Self delusion is profitable only when you are being paid to be stupid.
M) Don't tell me what you need, unless you first tell me why I should care,
N) Deaf and dumb is not a physical condition, it is a political party
Sunday, April 25, 2010
SUNDAY, APRIL 25, 2010
Senator Lindsey Graham has threatened to pull support for a climate change bill if the Democrats push immigration reform.What is he really up to?
A) Take him at his word. He'a an irational old woman suffering from menopause mood swings.
B) He's full of manure. The Republicans are desperate not to lose the Latino vote for the next forty years, or lose the tea baggers.
C) The Republcans are suffering from a self induced wedggie. After 20 years of using immegration as a wedge issue, they don't want to fix it.
D) Lindsey is just looking for a little attention. He's the Republican version of Joe Lieberman
E) Lindsey is just trying to take the pressure off John "I'm not a maverick" McCain for a news cycle.
F) Logic? We don't need no stinking logic!
G) Does anybody else think Lindsey Grahem is a ltitle fey?
H) Who cares? The Party of "No" is becoming the party of "speed bumps". They can make you slow, but they can't stop you.
I) You got to feel sorry for these guys. They are selling horse shit, but its marketed as roses.
J) Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain! The Republicans are still smarter than the Democrats!
K) Just more proof that you cannot work with the Republcians. Any Republicans, ever.
A) Take him at his word. He'a an irational old woman suffering from menopause mood swings.
B) He's full of manure. The Republicans are desperate not to lose the Latino vote for the next forty years, or lose the tea baggers.
C) The Republcans are suffering from a self induced wedggie. After 20 years of using immegration as a wedge issue, they don't want to fix it.
D) Lindsey is just looking for a little attention. He's the Republican version of Joe Lieberman
E) Lindsey is just trying to take the pressure off John "I'm not a maverick" McCain for a news cycle.
F) Logic? We don't need no stinking logic!
G) Does anybody else think Lindsey Grahem is a ltitle fey?
H) Who cares? The Party of "No" is becoming the party of "speed bumps". They can make you slow, but they can't stop you.
I) You got to feel sorry for these guys. They are selling horse shit, but its marketed as roses.
J) Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain! The Republicans are still smarter than the Democrats!
K) Just more proof that you cannot work with the Republcians. Any Republicans, ever.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
SATURDAY, APRIL 24, 2010
Nationl's Toughest Immigration Law Is Signed in Arizona
By RANDAL C. ARCHIBOLD
NYTimes
PHOENIX — Gov. Jan Brewer of Arizona signed the nation’s toughest bill on illegal immigration into law on Friday. Its aim is to identify, prosecute and deport illegal immigrants...makes it a state crime — a misdemeanor — to not carry immigration papers."
Given the Arizona action, which anti-immigration technology should be our current guide?
A) The instant depotation of suspected hispanics from 1930's L.A.,, which elimitated all futre Hispanic influence from California.
B) The Great Wall of China - 1449-1644, which darn near stopped the Mongol invaders.
C) Prohibition - when they were just trying to keep booze out of the country for 12 years.
D) Mason Dixon line, which divided "Free" from "Slave" states from 1787 to 1865.
E) The 880 mile long Yalu River border between N. Korea and China, complete with barbed wire fences, machine gun posts and land mines, and which stops all but 10,000 illegals each year.
F) The Iron Curtain, with walls, land mines, "no man's land" and complete surrender of individual freedoms and which stopped all but a handful of illegals for forty years
G) Hadrians Wall, which has kept Socttish influence out of Roman Britian for the last 2,000 years.
H) The Simpson's wall which divided Old Springfield from New Springfield
By RANDAL C. ARCHIBOLD
NYTimes
PHOENIX — Gov. Jan Brewer of Arizona signed the nation’s toughest bill on illegal immigration into law on Friday. Its aim is to identify, prosecute and deport illegal immigrants...makes it a state crime — a misdemeanor — to not carry immigration papers."
Given the Arizona action, which anti-immigration technology should be our current guide?
A) The instant depotation of suspected hispanics from 1930's L.A.,, which elimitated all futre Hispanic influence from California.
B) The Great Wall of China - 1449-1644, which darn near stopped the Mongol invaders.
C) Prohibition - when they were just trying to keep booze out of the country for 12 years.
D) Mason Dixon line, which divided "Free" from "Slave" states from 1787 to 1865.
E) The 880 mile long Yalu River border between N. Korea and China, complete with barbed wire fences, machine gun posts and land mines, and which stops all but 10,000 illegals each year.
F) The Iron Curtain, with walls, land mines, "no man's land" and complete surrender of individual freedoms and which stopped all but a handful of illegals for forty years
G) Hadrians Wall, which has kept Socttish influence out of Roman Britian for the last 2,000 years.
H) The Simpson's wall which divided Old Springfield from New Springfield
Friday, April 23, 2010
SUNDAY, APRIL 23, 2010
Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky) has refused to start debate on the Financial Refom bill. Why is he doing this?
A) He is still carrying water for the Wall Street bankers. And they are very thirsty
B) He just can't bring himself to agree on anything without first throwing a temper tantrum.
C) He's just a dick.
D) He 's got nothing left. And if the Democrats ever figure that out, he wont get on the Sunday talk shows.
E) It's called a bluff because you have to huff and puff. No huff, no bluff.
F) This was the plan all along. The party of "No" will now become the party of "Not So Fast!"
G) It just occured to him that the Democrats might be actually winning, here.
H) He is being paid by the hour.
A) He is still carrying water for the Wall Street bankers. And they are very thirsty
B) He just can't bring himself to agree on anything without first throwing a temper tantrum.
C) He's just a dick.
D) He 's got nothing left. And if the Democrats ever figure that out, he wont get on the Sunday talk shows.
E) It's called a bluff because you have to huff and puff. No huff, no bluff.
F) This was the plan all along. The party of "No" will now become the party of "Not So Fast!"
G) It just occured to him that the Democrats might be actually winning, here.
H) He is being paid by the hour.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
THURSDAY, APRIL 21, 2010
"GOP DENIES LINK TO FRANK LUNTZ MEMO - by Chris Frates, POLITICO
"Congressional Republicans can’t quite remember where their main talking point against Democratic financial-reform legislation came from, but they insist they know where it didn’t come from — Frank Luntz....
Luntz isn’t talking about the memo’s origins, refusing to say whom he wrote it for or how it found its way into the political bloodstream. "Luntz, God bless him, makes it easy," said DNC spokesman Brad Woodhouse. "He makes sure he gets credit for his stuff getting out there, and then the Republicans use it. And it makes it pretty easy for us..."
So, what is the most likely Republican explination as to how Frank Luntz's Memo became a G.O.P Talking Point?
A) My dog wrote it. Frank Luntz just took credit for it.
B) It was droppped on our doorstep by James O'Keefe. Frank Luntz just took credit for it.
C) John McCain NEVER said it was his idea. Unless you would like him for it, then he did.
D) It was Mitch McConnell's idea. But he didn't really mean it. And Frank Luntz just took credit for it.
E) John Boehner wrote the memo on the back of his golf score card, and meant to throw it away. But he forgot. And Frank Luntz just took credit for it.
F) It was all a misunderstanding. A lazy know nothing worthless congressional staffer did not see the notation at the top;" Never Say This!"
G) What talking points?
H) My dog has this friend. He must have snuck it into my "Things to say today" papers.
I) Mitch McConnell hasn't even been in the Senate for a week Next you'll be saying he has an evil twin.
J) Frank Luntz did not write this memo. He just took credit for it.
K) What is a Frank Luntz?
"Congressional Republicans can’t quite remember where their main talking point against Democratic financial-reform legislation came from, but they insist they know where it didn’t come from — Frank Luntz....
Luntz isn’t talking about the memo’s origins, refusing to say whom he wrote it for or how it found its way into the political bloodstream. "Luntz, God bless him, makes it easy," said DNC spokesman Brad Woodhouse. "He makes sure he gets credit for his stuff getting out there, and then the Republicans use it. And it makes it pretty easy for us..."
So, what is the most likely Republican explination as to how Frank Luntz's Memo became a G.O.P Talking Point?
A) My dog wrote it. Frank Luntz just took credit for it.
B) It was droppped on our doorstep by James O'Keefe. Frank Luntz just took credit for it.
C) John McCain NEVER said it was his idea. Unless you would like him for it, then he did.
D) It was Mitch McConnell's idea. But he didn't really mean it. And Frank Luntz just took credit for it.
E) John Boehner wrote the memo on the back of his golf score card, and meant to throw it away. But he forgot. And Frank Luntz just took credit for it.
F) It was all a misunderstanding. A lazy know nothing worthless congressional staffer did not see the notation at the top;" Never Say This!"
G) What talking points?
H) My dog has this friend. He must have snuck it into my "Things to say today" papers.
I) Mitch McConnell hasn't even been in the Senate for a week Next you'll be saying he has an evil twin.
J) Frank Luntz did not write this memo. He just took credit for it.
K) What is a Frank Luntz?
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 21, 2010
WHAT ARE THE CHANCES THAT REPUBLICAN FLORDIA GOVERNOR CHARLEY CRISP WILL RUN AS AN INDEPENDENT, NOW THAT TEA PARTY FAVORITE AND FORMER FLORIDA HOUSE SPEAKER, MARCO RUBIO IS UNDER IRS INVESTIGATION FOR ABUSE OF STATE REPUBLICAN PARTY CREDIT CARDS?
A) Sorry, Charlie can't hear you. It's very noisy where he is, under the G.O.P bus.
B) What? Charlie abandon the GOP now? That would be like John McCain going un-rogue.
C) Oh, never. Charlie always knew that in the G.O.P loyalty goes bottom to top, and never top to bottom.
D) Party loyality is all. After all, Scareface Capone even remembered to send Bugs Moran a Valentine's Day Card.
E) Apparently, in the new G.O.P., shit runs up hill.
F) Hey, the party never gave Charlie an American Express card. Why should he extend them any credit?
A) Sorry, Charlie can't hear you. It's very noisy where he is, under the G.O.P bus.
B) What? Charlie abandon the GOP now? That would be like John McCain going un-rogue.
C) Oh, never. Charlie always knew that in the G.O.P loyalty goes bottom to top, and never top to bottom.
D) Party loyality is all. After all, Scareface Capone even remembered to send Bugs Moran a Valentine's Day Card.
E) Apparently, in the new G.O.P., shit runs up hill.
F) Hey, the party never gave Charlie an American Express card. Why should he extend them any credit?
Sunday, April 18, 2010
SUNDAY, APRIL 18, 2010
OTHER THAN SLAVERY, WHAT ELSE DID THE VIRGINIA GOVERNOR FORGET TO MENTION IN HIS DECLERATION?
A) That in 1860 Southern leaders were simply appealing to their base.
B) That in 1860 Sara Palin would have been tarred and feathered for speaking in public.
D) That in 1860 "Death Panels" were not needed. People who reached 70 years of age had the decency to just die.
E) That in 1860 most people thought that "bleeding" was a cure for a fever.
F) That in 1860 the current Governor of Virginia had not been born yet.
G) That white people can forget slavery like Japan has forgotten the Battan Death March.
H) That in 1860 if God had wanted man to fly, he would have given them Boeing
I) That in 1860 girls were discouraged from being educated.
J) That in 1860, in Virginia, the most popular form of birth control was "going to the slave quarters".
K) That the culture of 1860 believed that men were God's ultimate creation. Women, not so much.
L) That if you could transport Michele Bachmann back to 1860 she would still be crazy.
M) That in 1860 the current Governor of Virginia would have been in the political mainstream.
N) That in 1860 Conservates were against abolition. That in 1900 they were against women voting. That in 1960 they were against racial mixing. That in 2000 they were against regulating banks.
O) That "Stupid is, as stupid does."
A) That in 1860 Southern leaders were simply appealing to their base.
B) That in 1860 Sara Palin would have been tarred and feathered for speaking in public.
D) That in 1860 "Death Panels" were not needed. People who reached 70 years of age had the decency to just die.
E) That in 1860 most people thought that "bleeding" was a cure for a fever.
F) That in 1860 the current Governor of Virginia had not been born yet.
G) That white people can forget slavery like Japan has forgotten the Battan Death March.
H) That in 1860 if God had wanted man to fly, he would have given them Boeing
I) That in 1860 girls were discouraged from being educated.
J) That in 1860, in Virginia, the most popular form of birth control was "going to the slave quarters".
K) That the culture of 1860 believed that men were God's ultimate creation. Women, not so much.
L) That if you could transport Michele Bachmann back to 1860 she would still be crazy.
M) That in 1860 the current Governor of Virginia would have been in the political mainstream.
N) That in 1860 Conservates were against abolition. That in 1900 they were against women voting. That in 1960 they were against racial mixing. That in 2000 they were against regulating banks.
O) That "Stupid is, as stupid does."
Friday, April 16, 2010
FRIDAY, APRIL 16, 2010
REP. KEVIN McCARTHY (R-CALIFORNIA) IS WRITING THE NEW REPUBLICAN "CONTRACT WITH AMERICA". WHAT WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO SEE INCLUDED IN IT?
A) An apoligy for being such dicks and liars for the last thirty years.
B) A promise to stop treating Jesus Christ like the ham cubes at the salad bar.
C) A pledge to either stop cheating on their wives or stop claiming only Democrats cheat on thier wives
D) A promise to stop using the American flag on everything from pins to tee shirts to toliet paper.
E) An admission that Karl Rove is no smarter than the average bear. Or Jackass.
F) A suicide note.
G) A note to White racists that they are breaking it off and they just can't be seen together anymore.
H) An intelligence test.
I) An admission that RHINO actually stands for "Racist, Hatred, Ignorance, and NO."
J) In the spirit of truth in advertising, changing their name to the "Fat White Rich, Selfish, Bigots Party"
K) A pomise to burn the Enterprise Institue to the ground and then strew salt on that ground.
L) A promise to just shut up for fifteen minutes.
A) An apoligy for being such dicks and liars for the last thirty years.
B) A promise to stop treating Jesus Christ like the ham cubes at the salad bar.
C) A pledge to either stop cheating on their wives or stop claiming only Democrats cheat on thier wives
D) A promise to stop using the American flag on everything from pins to tee shirts to toliet paper.
E) An admission that Karl Rove is no smarter than the average bear. Or Jackass.
F) A suicide note.
G) A note to White racists that they are breaking it off and they just can't be seen together anymore.
H) An intelligence test.
I) An admission that RHINO actually stands for "Racist, Hatred, Ignorance, and NO."
J) In the spirit of truth in advertising, changing their name to the "Fat White Rich, Selfish, Bigots Party"
K) A pomise to burn the Enterprise Institue to the ground and then strew salt on that ground.
L) A promise to just shut up for fifteen minutes.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
In the New York Times headline story by Kate Zernike and Megan Thee-Brenan:
"The 18 percent of Americans who identify themselves as Tea Party supporters tend to be Republican, white, male, married and older than 45. ...And while most Republicans say they are “dissatisfied” with Washington, Tea Party supporters are more likely to classify themselves as “angry.”
New York Times - Tea Baggers
The best single word to describe tea partyers is....?
A) Farts. (Fools And Racists, Toltally Pissed.)
B) Oldfarts. (Older Libertarian Dullards and Fools Anxiously Racists and Totally Pissed)
C) Warts. (White Angry Racist and Totally Stupid)
D) Wombats. (White Obtuse Men, Batty, Terrified and Senile)
E) Wives. (White, Insecure, Viagra Expectorating Sheep)
F) Whimps. (White Hood Inside, Male Premadona thin Skin)
G) Pups. (PalinUxorious, People Scorning)
H) Feet. (Fat, Envious, Energetic Turds)
I) Useless.
"The 18 percent of Americans who identify themselves as Tea Party supporters tend to be Republican, white, male, married and older than 45. ...And while most Republicans say they are “dissatisfied” with Washington, Tea Party supporters are more likely to classify themselves as “angry.”
New York Times - Tea Baggers
The best single word to describe tea partyers is....?
A) Farts. (Fools And Racists, Toltally Pissed.)
B) Oldfarts. (Older Libertarian Dullards and Fools Anxiously Racists and Totally Pissed)
C) Warts. (White Angry Racist and Totally Stupid)
D) Wombats. (White Obtuse Men, Batty, Terrified and Senile)
E) Wives. (White, Insecure, Viagra Expectorating Sheep)
F) Whimps. (White Hood Inside, Male Premadona thin Skin)
G) Pups. (PalinUxorious, People Scorning)
H) Feet. (Fat, Envious, Energetic Turds)
I) Useless.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
WEDNESDAY APRIL 14, 2010
WHAT IS THE MOST LIKELY ARGUEMENT THE BANKS WILL USE TO AVOID A RETURN TO REGULATION?
A) I'm sorry,Congressman, but your account is over drawn.
B) I'm sorry, Senator, but our records indicate you did deposit fifty thousand dollars in your campaign account. We certainly did not do it.
C) Regulations of our financial institutions is an attempt to murder capitalism, molest children, rape women and turn all men gay.
D) Excuse me, but did you drop this job application to Citibank? Well, it has your name on it. And its stamped approved.
E) Doomsday!!!
F) Double Doomsday!!!
G) Pass the bill and we shoot this dog!
H) Regulautions? We don't tolerate no stinking regulations!
I) You can regulate us, if you want. But that will just make us mad.
J) Sweet heart, if you don't put out, we'll just dump youy and date a girl who does.
K) Free markets? What you talking about, Willis? Free markets are like Free checking. Very expensive.
L) Touch that bonus, punk, and you'll be sorry.
A) I'm sorry,Congressman, but your account is over drawn.
B) I'm sorry, Senator, but our records indicate you did deposit fifty thousand dollars in your campaign account. We certainly did not do it.
C) Regulations of our financial institutions is an attempt to murder capitalism, molest children, rape women and turn all men gay.
D) Excuse me, but did you drop this job application to Citibank? Well, it has your name on it. And its stamped approved.
E) Doomsday!!!
F) Double Doomsday!!!
G) Pass the bill and we shoot this dog!
H) Regulautions? We don't tolerate no stinking regulations!
I) You can regulate us, if you want. But that will just make us mad.
J) Sweet heart, if you don't put out, we'll just dump youy and date a girl who does.
K) Free markets? What you talking about, Willis? Free markets are like Free checking. Very expensive.
L) Touch that bonus, punk, and you'll be sorry.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
SUNDAY, APRIL 11, 2010
THE SOUTHERN REPUBLICANS WERE OFFERED A CHOICE OF 9 CANDIDATES FOR PRESIDENT. WHO WOULD YOU HAVE INCLUDED AS THEIR TENTH CANDIDATE?
A) Levi Johnston.
B) Montgomery Burns.
C) Rush Limbaugh.
D) Kate Gosselin
E) Senator Foghorn Leghorn
F) Elmer Fud
G) Dr. Franklin (Frank) Delano Marion Burns
H) Jack Merridew.
I) Professor James Moriarty
J) Bruce T. Jaws
K) Abaddon Belial Beelzebub
L) Mr. T. F. (My Brain Hurts) Gumby
M) Vlad Tepes
N) Shemp Howard
A) Levi Johnston.
B) Montgomery Burns.
C) Rush Limbaugh.
D) Kate Gosselin
E) Senator Foghorn Leghorn
F) Elmer Fud
G) Dr. Franklin (Frank) Delano Marion Burns
H) Jack Merridew.
I) Professor James Moriarty
J) Bruce T. Jaws
K) Abaddon Belial Beelzebub
L) Mr. T. F. (My Brain Hurts) Gumby
M) Vlad Tepes
N) Shemp Howard
Friday, April 9, 2010
FRIDAY, APRIL 10, 2010
Forbes magazine says that Glenn Beck made $32 million last year. This is proof that...
A) Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public -P.T. Barnum
B) They greatest conspiracy theory is the theory of conspiracies - Lennin.
C) There are two ways to get rich by being a whore. One is to sell your body to a few clients for a lot of money each. The other is the Glenn Beck method.
D) The only question here is how long he can play crazy before they have to drag him off the air with a dog bone in his mouth.
E) Even your own poop can be expensive to buy, if it is marketed well.
F) There is no justice in this world.
A) Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public -P.T. Barnum
B) They greatest conspiracy theory is the theory of conspiracies - Lennin.
C) There are two ways to get rich by being a whore. One is to sell your body to a few clients for a lot of money each. The other is the Glenn Beck method.
D) The only question here is how long he can play crazy before they have to drag him off the air with a dog bone in his mouth.
E) Even your own poop can be expensive to buy, if it is marketed well.
F) There is no justice in this world.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
THURSDAY, APRIL 8, 2010
FROM THE WASHINGTON POST;
By Peter Slevin, Washington Post Staff Writer
Thursday, April 8, 2010
"MINNEAPOLIS -- Two of the country's most popular Republicans teamed up Wednesday for a rollicking campaign rally, with Rep. Michele Bachmann (Minn.) and former Alaska governor Sarah Palin blasting congressional Democrats and Bachmann saying President Obama is doomed to a single term.
...when it was Palin's turn to take the lectern, she called Bachmann "inspiring."..."Someone had better tell Washington that the pink elephant is on the move, and Michele is leading the stampede," Palin said...Palin said: "Michele doesn't tell them no. She tells them h-e-l-l no."
The Best Slogan for a Palin-Bachmann presidental election team, would be...
A) The Democratic Dream Team
B) Free Riides to Crazy Town.
C) Four legs, four arms, two heads, and still no brain.
D) The Pink Elephant - a drunkards's nightmare
E) Two pink ladies, please. And hold the lithium.
F) Two loonies, no waiting.
G) Dumb and crazier.
H) A stampeding Michele and Sara baracuda. Surf and Turf in 2012
I) Re-building a bridge to nowhwere since 1929
J) Shrill and shriller.
By Peter Slevin, Washington Post Staff Writer
Thursday, April 8, 2010
"MINNEAPOLIS -- Two of the country's most popular Republicans teamed up Wednesday for a rollicking campaign rally, with Rep. Michele Bachmann (Minn.) and former Alaska governor Sarah Palin blasting congressional Democrats and Bachmann saying President Obama is doomed to a single term.
...when it was Palin's turn to take the lectern, she called Bachmann "inspiring."..."Someone had better tell Washington that the pink elephant is on the move, and Michele is leading the stampede," Palin said...Palin said: "Michele doesn't tell them no. She tells them h-e-l-l no."
The Best Slogan for a Palin-Bachmann presidental election team, would be...
A) The Democratic Dream Team
B) Free Riides to Crazy Town.
C) Four legs, four arms, two heads, and still no brain.
D) The Pink Elephant - a drunkards's nightmare
E) Two pink ladies, please. And hold the lithium.
F) Two loonies, no waiting.
G) Dumb and crazier.
H) A stampeding Michele and Sara baracuda. Surf and Turf in 2012
I) Re-building a bridge to nowhwere since 1929
J) Shrill and shriller.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 7, 2010
SHOULD THE GOP SHOULD REPLACE CHAIRMAN STEELE, AND WHY?
A) Lord no. Replace him with who? Who would want the job now? He's ruined it for everybody.
B) Replace him with Rush Limbaugh. The only thing missing from at the RNC so far has been a drug scandal
C) I understand John Ensign may be looking for work.
D) Rudy G. would take the job. Rudy will take any job that gets him face time with a TV camera.
E) Keep him. It's a great chance to clean out the rats. Either they jump ship, or they go down with it.
F) Why bother? The tea baggers are not taking over the G.O.P, they are wearing its dead hide like Hannible Lector.
G) GLEN BECK! GLEN BECK! GLEN BECK! How much fun would that be? The R.N.C. on L.S.D.
H) Oh, any right-wing-nut-domsday-loving- sexually repressed-mentally challanged-drone would do. Give the job to Sara
I) It might be a nice retirment package for John McCain. Until its time to put him in the home, of course.
J) Just for laughs, I nominate Joe Lieberman. His R,N.C. would run just like a Japanese Horror movie. Ponderous, scary and pointless.
A) Lord no. Replace him with who? Who would want the job now? He's ruined it for everybody.
B) Replace him with Rush Limbaugh. The only thing missing from at the RNC so far has been a drug scandal
C) I understand John Ensign may be looking for work.
D) Rudy G. would take the job. Rudy will take any job that gets him face time with a TV camera.
E) Keep him. It's a great chance to clean out the rats. Either they jump ship, or they go down with it.
F) Why bother? The tea baggers are not taking over the G.O.P, they are wearing its dead hide like Hannible Lector.
G) GLEN BECK! GLEN BECK! GLEN BECK! How much fun would that be? The R.N.C. on L.S.D.
H) Oh, any right-wing-nut-domsday-loving- sexually repressed-mentally challanged-drone would do. Give the job to Sara
I) It might be a nice retirment package for John McCain. Until its time to put him in the home, of course.
J) Just for laughs, I nominate Joe Lieberman. His R,N.C. would run just like a Japanese Horror movie. Ponderous, scary and pointless.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
SUNDAY, APRIL 3, 2010
YOUR BEST EXCUSE FOR NOT RUSHING OUT AND BUYING AN iPAD, IS
A) I don't know what it does.
B) The second the News Media told me I had to have it, I didn't have to have it.
C) Hype is cheap. And I have been hyped before.
D) Steve Jobs is the pied piper of over-sell, over-engineered and over and done.
E) I can't afford it.
F) Did this guy ever invent anything that was cheaper than what he inveted last year? Just aking.
G) Who didn't rush out an buy an iPad? I am iPading right now. I am also iEating, iPooping, and iSneezing.
H) I find the iPhone and the iPad self absorbed. Why not a wePhone and a wePad?
I) Because if you just wait two years the PC Pad will be crashing while doing the same thing.
J) No, really. What the heck does it do that the plastic crap already in my pocket doesn't already do?
K) My iPhone forgot to remind me to buy it.
A) I don't know what it does.
B) The second the News Media told me I had to have it, I didn't have to have it.
C) Hype is cheap. And I have been hyped before.
D) Steve Jobs is the pied piper of over-sell, over-engineered and over and done.
E) I can't afford it.
F) Did this guy ever invent anything that was cheaper than what he inveted last year? Just aking.
G) Who didn't rush out an buy an iPad? I am iPading right now. I am also iEating, iPooping, and iSneezing.
H) I find the iPhone and the iPad self absorbed. Why not a wePhone and a wePad?
I) Because if you just wait two years the PC Pad will be crashing while doing the same thing.
J) No, really. What the heck does it do that the plastic crap already in my pocket doesn't already do?
K) My iPhone forgot to remind me to buy it.
Friday, April 2, 2010
FRIDAY, APRIL 2, 2010
WHICH SLOGAN WOULD YOU SUGGEST THE G.O.P. USE ON THE FINANCIAL SECTOR REGULATION ISSUE?
A) Capitalism or Death!
B) Our banker, right or wrong!
C) Citibank, si. Socalism, non.
D) A Wall Street banker is as trust wothy as the priest running the Vatican City Day Care Center.
E) No Death Panels for Derivatives!
F) Robin Hood was a socialist tool!
G) Who do you trust more, some heartless Washington Buearocrat, or a friendly warm banker?
H) Have Republicans ever lied to you?
I) We warned you not to trust the government. And once elected, we proved it
J) If they were worth a bail out, aren't they worth a little more trust?
K) That which bankrupts us, makes us stronger!
A) Capitalism or Death!
B) Our banker, right or wrong!
C) Citibank, si. Socalism, non.
D) A Wall Street banker is as trust wothy as the priest running the Vatican City Day Care Center.
E) No Death Panels for Derivatives!
F) Robin Hood was a socialist tool!
G) Who do you trust more, some heartless Washington Buearocrat, or a friendly warm banker?
H) Have Republicans ever lied to you?
I) We warned you not to trust the government. And once elected, we proved it
J) If they were worth a bail out, aren't they worth a little more trust?
K) That which bankrupts us, makes us stronger!
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