MARCH 30, 2010

CRIB NOTES FOR PROGNOSTICATORS


Jeff Zeleny and Bernie Becker have the following story in today's New York Times:

"The Republican National Committee on Monday opened an investigation into why party money...was used to pay a $2,000 tab at a risqué Hollywood club in late January. The outing at Voyeur in West Hollywood, which features topless dancers and acts involving bondage, appeared on the Republicans’ monthly disclosure report to the Federal Election Commission...Erik Brown of Orange, Calif., a Republican consultant and donor, submitted a reimbursement request for $1,946.25 from his club visit on Jan. 31. He listed the amount as a meal expense at the club, whose interior was inspired by an orgy scene in the movie "Eyes Wide Shut." ...The February filings to the Federal Election Commission show that the Republican committee spent $17,500 on travel by private jet, in addition to about $15,000 on limousines. The report also listed several hotel charges ranging in the thousands of dollars, including the W Hotel in Washington ($15,000), the Beverly Hills Hotel ($9,000) and the Four Seasons in Philadelphia ($7,000)...When Mr. Steele took over the committee last year, it had $22 million in cash on hand. This month, records show, that amount is $9.46 million."

WE PREDICT THAT THE NEXT EXPENSE SCANDAL AT THE RNC WILL BE OVER...

A) $25,000.00 for Michele Steel's "How Not to be a Nerd" classes.

B) Eight dollars for various sized "rainbow" condums for the month of March (a 50% increase).

C) $500,000 for court mandated anger managment training.

D) $328,248.56 for chewing gum, and $3 million for shoes, both in the same month. (so they can learn to walk and chew...oh, never mind)

E) $600,000 for copies of the Illustrated Classic Comics version for "Going Rogue".

F) $200 for a Community College course; Politics one-oh-one.

G) $32,456.00 for bandaides and iodine ointment, for Michele Steel.

H) $6 for a big sign on the front door of the RNC that reads, "Boys Only. Positivily No Girls Allowed!"

I) $85 for a speed bump in the hallway that leads to the parking lot.

J) $300,000.00 for flowers and candy for lobbiest that only a Republican could love; tobacco, banks and the insurance industry.