SEN. JOHN ENSIGN OF NEVADA HAS REPORTED ONLY RAISING $33,000 IN THE LAST QUARTER. WHAT CAN HE DO TO SAVE HIS CAREER?
A) Go after the adulters vote. We know they outnumber the holier than thou prigs.
B) Go after the liars vote. That's the biggest democraphic in the world.
C) Go after the hypocrites vote. They out number everybody. Not that they would ever admit it.
D) Go after the libertarian vote. You would be amazed how many mental patients can still vote in Nevada.
E) Make amends. Burn your whore at the stake in front of your fellow N street uber Christians. It's all her fault for tempting you wiith tits.
F) Make amends. Write a confession book. A really, detailed, dirty, filthy, confession book. With pictuers. And a You Tube site.
G) Make amends. Go on an apoligy tour with Jimmy Swaggert and Mel GIbson.
H) Explain yourself. You have a sex addiction.
I) Explain your self. You have an hypocracy addiction.
J) Explain yourself. Your wife forgives you. Forgiveness is her Christian duty, and not just until she can clean out your joint bank accounts.
K) Go Howard Hughes. Stop bathing. Let your toenails grow. Write a book; "I Found the Face of God in Pizza and Internet Porn!" Use the royalites to finance your own campaign
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