WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 16, 2013 GO TEAM!

Politico, 1/15/13: The first blind man to climb Everest, will be a motivational speaker at the GOP retreat. Whom would you suggest to motivate congressional Republicans?

A) Dead-eye Marks - brail sharpshooter

B) “Death Dive” Yamaguchi - ex-Kamikaze pilot

C) Dr. Zachary Smith - stowaway on Jupiter II Spaceship

D) Commander Khan Noonien Singh – Enterprise Institute eugenics expert

E) Maynard G. Krebs - investment banker, entrepreneur, author “I Own That”

F) Jimmy “I have sinned” Swaggart – born-again and again and again televangelist

G) Don “chicken hawk” Braggert – American Enterprise Institute warrior.

H) Bobby “Undercoat” Stevens – Used car salesman, author “Selling Shit As Shinola”

I) Dennis Miller – Comedian, author “When Being Conservative Isn't Funny Anymore”

J) Dr. Mel Practice – Plastic surgeon, author, “Changing Your Face But Not Your Cheating Heart”

K) Huge Match – Interior designer, author, “Negotiating with a Pyromaniac”

L) Betty “Hip” Pocketsry – Exotic Dancer, author “Capitalism for the Morally Bankrupt”

M) Bernie Madoff – Investment banker, Author “What did you expect?”

N) Ronald Reagan - Actor, Politician, author “Who the Fuck Are You Idiots?”

O) Richard Nixon – Politician, author “Do As I Do, Not As I Say”