Firemen in South Fulton, Ten. let Gene Cranick's home burn because he didn't pay a $75 fee. Cranick's son later went to the fire house and punched the chief. What's next for our TEA Party future?
A) A Bingham, N.Y family was gunned down when they "Opted Out" of the "Overdue Library Book" fee.
B) A Plainfield, Indiana man is under arrest after he "Opted Out" of the "Random Paper Clip" replacement fee, and was found to have left the Copy Shop without paying for one.
C) In Los Angeles, twelve people have died of food posioning because they opted out of the "Health Food Inspection" fee.
D) The U.S. Army has disbanded all artillary units, because too many citizens "Opted Out" of the "Shell Fire" protection fee.
E) It was announced to day that the most secure job in America is now "Option Out Checker - the person who keeps track of which services people have opted out of
F) Cholera has broken out again amongst the citizens of Muffreesboro, Ten. many of whom have "Opted Out" of the Health Department Protection fee.
G) Thirty-five people in Lexington, Kentucky, represented by the Herman Blanch law firm, declared bankruptcy today because they had "Opted Out" of the "Law School Licensing" fee.
H) USA today reports that people who opt out of their "Sewage Tansport fee have life spans 1/2 of what people who did, do,
I) The state of Montana has instituted a new "Stuff you had not idea could kill you" fee.
J) The small town of Tea Party, Texas, with the lowest taxes in the nation, was disolved today after the last two citizens died in a head-on collision. Both had "Opted Out" of the "Stop Sign Erection" fee.
K) An Alabama legislator has suggested an optional program for "know-it all's who lack enough imagination to realize they are idiots" fee of $1 million.
L) The "Playing with Matches" fee was paid by 97% of the residents of Flash Fire, Arizona. It was not enough.
M) Websters announced today the term "Tax Payer" is being dropped from the dictionary. Uses are urged to instead use the term "Sucker".
N) For the third year in a row, the most often used term in government documents was again, "What you don't know could kill you."
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