Which Halloween costume would you suggest Presdent Obama wear this year?
A) BATMAN. A crime fighter, but no actual superpowers.
B) Dr. HOUSE. Its not about the patient, its about the diagnoses.
C) Dr. SHERPARD (Lost) We're never getting off this fucking island.
D) Dr. WALTER BISHOP (Fringe); What we got is the mental wanderer, but we would like a little of the Alt Walter, every once in awhile
E) GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE. Watch out for that Republican Majority in the House!
F) KENNY (South Park). Oh, No. They killed Kenny again. Those bastards.
G) POOCHIE (The Simpsons); Killed off after one show. Get it, Homer?
H) RICHIE CUNNINGHAM (Happy Days); He's the lead character. So how come the best plots revolve around Fonzie?
I) VINNY GUADAGNINO (Jersey Shore) "I'm the youngest guy in the house. But I'm the most mature person in the house."
J) BEN CARTWRIGHT (Bonanza) He's the daddy, and he never gets laid.
K) WILL SCHUESTER (Glee) He gave up a good job as a Spanish Teacher for this.
L) Dr. HERBERT MELNICK (Two and A-Half Men) The guy you probably marry, but not the guy you want.
M) DR. CARLISLE CULLEN (Twilight) What a nice guy. And yet a blood sucker.
N) ELWOOD P. DOWD (Harvey) What a Nice guy. And yet there is that big rabbit.
O) SUPERMAN: We can still dream, can't we?
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 29, 2010
Republican candidate Meg Whitman spent $140 million of her own money to lose the race for governor. What movie will they re-make about her campaign?
A) Titanic
B) Dr. Stranglove
C) Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
D) The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrob
E) Election.
F) Poseidon
G) Never Give A Sucker An Even Break
H) Cleopatra
I) Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
J) King Kong
K) Toy Story 3
L) Clueless
M) Lost Horizon
N) Born Yesterday
O) Manchurian Candidate.
A) Titanic
B) Dr. Stranglove
C) Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
D) The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrob
E) Election.
F) Poseidon
G) Never Give A Sucker An Even Break
H) Cleopatra
I) Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
J) King Kong
K) Toy Story 3
L) Clueless
M) Lost Horizon
N) Born Yesterday
O) Manchurian Candidate.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 27, 2010
IF NPR WERE A MOVIE SEQUAL, WHICH ONE WOULD WE BE WATCHING NOW?
A) Star Wars, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, (2005)
B) Star Trek: Insurrection (1998)
C) Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives! (1986)
D) Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
E) Sherlock Holmes Faces Death (1943)
F) The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
G) The Next Karate Kid (1994)
H) Porky's Revenge (1985)
I) Revenge of the Nerds IV: Nerds in Love (1994)
J) Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970)
K) Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
L) Batman And Robin (1997)
M) Leprechaun 4: In Space (1997)
N) Staying Alive(1983)
O) Love Finds Andy Hardy (1938)
A) Star Wars, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, (2005)
B) Star Trek: Insurrection (1998)
C) Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives! (1986)
D) Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
E) Sherlock Holmes Faces Death (1943)
F) The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
G) The Next Karate Kid (1994)
H) Porky's Revenge (1985)
I) Revenge of the Nerds IV: Nerds in Love (1994)
J) Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970)
K) Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
L) Batman And Robin (1997)
M) Leprechaun 4: In Space (1997)
N) Staying Alive(1983)
O) Love Finds Andy Hardy (1938)
Sunday, October 24, 2010
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 24, 2010
If this election was a (real) Country-Western song it would most likely be...?
A) She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
B) If I Can’t Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
C) You’re the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
D) All My Exes Live in Texas
E) If the Phone Don’t Ring, It’s Me Not Calling You Up
F) It Ain’t Love But It Ain’t Bad
G) I Just Fell In Something and I Sure Hope It’s Love
H) If You Can’t Live Without Me, Why Aren’t You Dead Yet?
I) If Money Talks, It Ain’t On Speaking Terms With Me
J) Mama Get The Hammer (There’s A Fly On Papa’s Head)
K) I Keep Forgettin’ I Forgot About You
L) Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
M) I Don’t Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
N) My Sweet Tooth Says I Wanna, But My Wisdom Tooth Says No
O) I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim’s Gettin’ Better
A) She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
B) If I Can’t Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
C) You’re the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
D) All My Exes Live in Texas
E) If the Phone Don’t Ring, It’s Me Not Calling You Up
F) It Ain’t Love But It Ain’t Bad
G) I Just Fell In Something and I Sure Hope It’s Love
H) If You Can’t Live Without Me, Why Aren’t You Dead Yet?
I) If Money Talks, It Ain’t On Speaking Terms With Me
J) Mama Get The Hammer (There’s A Fly On Papa’s Head)
K) I Keep Forgettin’ I Forgot About You
L) Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
M) I Don’t Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
N) My Sweet Tooth Says I Wanna, But My Wisdom Tooth Says No
O) I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim’s Gettin’ Better
Friday, October 22, 2010
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 22, 2010
Ginni Thomas left a message on Anita Hill's phone machine. If this story were a chick flick, what would they call it?
A) Brief Encounter (1946)
B) An Affair to Remember (1957)
C) Rebel Without a Cause (1955)
D) Magnificent Obsession (1954)
E) Sophie's Choice (1982)
F) Splash (1984)
G) Girls Just Want to Have Fun (1985)
H) Steel Magnolias (1989)
I) Ghost (1990)
J) Truly, Madly, Deeply (1990)
K) Legends of the Fall (1994)
L) Clueless (1995)
M) Now and Then (1995)
N) Titanic (1997)
O) You've Got Mail (1998)
A) Brief Encounter (1946)
B) An Affair to Remember (1957)
C) Rebel Without a Cause (1955)
D) Magnificent Obsession (1954)
E) Sophie's Choice (1982)
F) Splash (1984)
G) Girls Just Want to Have Fun (1985)
H) Steel Magnolias (1989)
I) Ghost (1990)
J) Truly, Madly, Deeply (1990)
K) Legends of the Fall (1994)
L) Clueless (1995)
M) Now and Then (1995)
N) Titanic (1997)
O) You've Got Mail (1998)
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 10, 2010
How do you think Chistine O'Donnell would improve the Constituion?
A) Pictures.
B) Pictures with captions
C) A glossery of exotic terms, like "Equal rights".
D) Rewritten in the vernacular of Dr. Seuss.
E) Pop up picturest with captions.
F) Written in pink ink to hilight the socalist amendments.
G) Re-written for those with A.D.S., in "witch" the 1st amendment is also the 10th and the 15th and again the 20th
H) Paraphrased in the vernacular of Forest Gump. "Liberal is as liberal does."
I) Paraphrased in the vernacular of the Tea Party. "Me, Me, Me" and "Wang, doody, pantomine horse."
J) A fifty-two page explination of the phrase "...a more perfect union..."
K) Fequent bathroom breaks.
L) Ritalin.
M) Lots of Ritalin
N) More Ritalin
O) Less Ritalin than she is currentlly taking.
A) Pictures.
B) Pictures with captions
C) A glossery of exotic terms, like "Equal rights".
D) Rewritten in the vernacular of Dr. Seuss.
E) Pop up picturest with captions.
F) Written in pink ink to hilight the socalist amendments.
G) Re-written for those with A.D.S., in "witch" the 1st amendment is also the 10th and the 15th and again the 20th
H) Paraphrased in the vernacular of Forest Gump. "Liberal is as liberal does."
I) Paraphrased in the vernacular of the Tea Party. "Me, Me, Me" and "Wang, doody, pantomine horse."
J) A fifty-two page explination of the phrase "...a more perfect union..."
K) Fequent bathroom breaks.
L) Ritalin.
M) Lots of Ritalin
N) More Ritalin
O) Less Ritalin than she is currentlly taking.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 17, 2010
If New York TeaPublican candidate Carl Paladino were a Broadway Musical, which one do you think he would be?
A) The Addams Family (2010)
B) Hellzapoppin (1938)
C) Grease (1972)
D) The Lion King (1987)
E) The Threepenny Opera (1954)
F) Momma Mia! (2001)
G) Phantom of the Opera (1988)
H) Promises, Promises (1968)
I) Spamalot (2005)
J) Les Misérables (1987)
K) The King and I (1951)
L) Little Shop of Horrors (1982)
M) Rocky Horror Show (1973)
N) The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1978)
O) Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson (2008)
A) The Addams Family (2010)
B) Hellzapoppin (1938)
C) Grease (1972)
D) The Lion King (1987)
E) The Threepenny Opera (1954)
F) Momma Mia! (2001)
G) Phantom of the Opera (1988)
H) Promises, Promises (1968)
I) Spamalot (2005)
J) Les Misérables (1987)
K) The King and I (1951)
L) Little Shop of Horrors (1982)
M) Rocky Horror Show (1973)
N) The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1978)
O) Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson (2008)
Friday, October 15, 2010
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 15, 2010
Which Supreme Court case do you think should Christine O'Donnell have cited as proof of activiists judges?
A) Texas v Imaginary liberal stuf I made up; By 5-4 the court upheld the right of crooks to take children's milk money
B) Nebraska v Comunist zombies; in a unanimous decision the court approved of eating human brains.
C) Nevada V blood sucking vampires; By 6-3 the court insisted that cute Irish virgins must bare their necks even if no vampires are interested.
D) Notanactualtown, California v Mexican drug cartels; by 25 -1 the court approved dark skinned drug dealers lurking outside your house
E) Onlyinnmymind, Arizona v Drug dealing Pimps Union; by unanimous decision the court approved of the bad guys.
F) Bigot, Oregon v Anybody Who Scares Me; By 5-4 the court said I'm right to be pissed off this morning.
G) Fantasy, West Virginia v People who hate me; by 2-1 the court insisted I was right.
H) Elvevator Fart, Utah v mothers eating apple pie; by 9 -5 it doesn't matter what they said - I was right
I) Christine O'Donnell v American pschiatry; by unamimous deceision the court insisted that I was not legally insane, yet.
A) Texas v Imaginary liberal stuf I made up; By 5-4 the court upheld the right of crooks to take children's milk money
B) Nebraska v Comunist zombies; in a unanimous decision the court approved of eating human brains.
C) Nevada V blood sucking vampires; By 6-3 the court insisted that cute Irish virgins must bare their necks even if no vampires are interested.
D) Notanactualtown, California v Mexican drug cartels; by 25 -1 the court approved dark skinned drug dealers lurking outside your house
E) Onlyinnmymind, Arizona v Drug dealing Pimps Union; by unanimous decision the court approved of the bad guys.
F) Bigot, Oregon v Anybody Who Scares Me; By 5-4 the court said I'm right to be pissed off this morning.
G) Fantasy, West Virginia v People who hate me; by 2-1 the court insisted I was right.
H) Elvevator Fart, Utah v mothers eating apple pie; by 9 -5 it doesn't matter what they said - I was right
I) Christine O'Donnell v American pschiatry; by unamimous deceision the court insisted that I was not legally insane, yet.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 13, 2010
A Gallup poll finds Americans' obesity level is holding steady with 26.6% of Americans obese, still up from 2008. This poll makes me want to...
A) Eat something
B) Throw up.
C) Eat something, take a nap and think about it later.
D) Potato chips help me think. So, it makes me want to buy some dip
E) Avoid any news reports until after November. Republican "no" nothings make me want to stuff my face.
F) Bulimia is the Tea Party of Diet Programs. So yes, let's try throwing up. That should solve the problem
G) Invest in non-fat pasta technology.
H) Fix the dang fork.
I) Cookies are the new opiate of the people.
J) Go on a hunger strike until people stop eating. It may not help them, but I'll lose weight.
K) Has it occured to anyone that health food is more expensive than junk food? A fat America is a poor America
L) Stop reading polls.
M) Fat polls are so 1990's. Next they'll be telling us that sex is dangerous.
N) Be nine again, when this stuff was not going on.
A) Eat something
B) Throw up.
C) Eat something, take a nap and think about it later.
D) Potato chips help me think. So, it makes me want to buy some dip
E) Avoid any news reports until after November. Republican "no" nothings make me want to stuff my face.
F) Bulimia is the Tea Party of Diet Programs. So yes, let's try throwing up. That should solve the problem
G) Invest in non-fat pasta technology.
H) Fix the dang fork.
I) Cookies are the new opiate of the people.
J) Go on a hunger strike until people stop eating. It may not help them, but I'll lose weight.
K) Has it occured to anyone that health food is more expensive than junk food? A fat America is a poor America
L) Stop reading polls.
M) Fat polls are so 1990's. Next they'll be telling us that sex is dangerous.
N) Be nine again, when this stuff was not going on.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 6, 2010
Firemen in South Fulton, Ten. let Gene Cranick's home burn because he didn't pay a $75 fee. Cranick's son later went to the fire house and punched the chief. What's next for our TEA Party future?
A) A Bingham, N.Y family was gunned down when they "Opted Out" of the "Overdue Library Book" fee.
B) A Plainfield, Indiana man is under arrest after he "Opted Out" of the "Random Paper Clip" replacement fee, and was found to have left the Copy Shop without paying for one.
C) In Los Angeles, twelve people have died of food posioning because they opted out of the "Health Food Inspection" fee.
D) The U.S. Army has disbanded all artillary units, because too many citizens "Opted Out" of the "Shell Fire" protection fee.
E) It was announced to day that the most secure job in America is now "Option Out Checker - the person who keeps track of which services people have opted out of
F) Cholera has broken out again amongst the citizens of Muffreesboro, Ten. many of whom have "Opted Out" of the Health Department Protection fee.
G) Thirty-five people in Lexington, Kentucky, represented by the Herman Blanch law firm, declared bankruptcy today because they had "Opted Out" of the "Law School Licensing" fee.
H) USA today reports that people who opt out of their "Sewage Tansport fee have life spans 1/2 of what people who did, do,
I) The state of Montana has instituted a new "Stuff you had not idea could kill you" fee.
J) The small town of Tea Party, Texas, with the lowest taxes in the nation, was disolved today after the last two citizens died in a head-on collision. Both had "Opted Out" of the "Stop Sign Erection" fee.
K) An Alabama legislator has suggested an optional program for "know-it all's who lack enough imagination to realize they are idiots" fee of $1 million.
L) The "Playing with Matches" fee was paid by 97% of the residents of Flash Fire, Arizona. It was not enough.
M) Websters announced today the term "Tax Payer" is being dropped from the dictionary. Uses are urged to instead use the term "Sucker".
N) For the third year in a row, the most often used term in government documents was again, "What you don't know could kill you."
A) A Bingham, N.Y family was gunned down when they "Opted Out" of the "Overdue Library Book" fee.
B) A Plainfield, Indiana man is under arrest after he "Opted Out" of the "Random Paper Clip" replacement fee, and was found to have left the Copy Shop without paying for one.
C) In Los Angeles, twelve people have died of food posioning because they opted out of the "Health Food Inspection" fee.
D) The U.S. Army has disbanded all artillary units, because too many citizens "Opted Out" of the "Shell Fire" protection fee.
E) It was announced to day that the most secure job in America is now "Option Out Checker - the person who keeps track of which services people have opted out of
F) Cholera has broken out again amongst the citizens of Muffreesboro, Ten. many of whom have "Opted Out" of the Health Department Protection fee.
G) Thirty-five people in Lexington, Kentucky, represented by the Herman Blanch law firm, declared bankruptcy today because they had "Opted Out" of the "Law School Licensing" fee.
H) USA today reports that people who opt out of their "Sewage Tansport fee have life spans 1/2 of what people who did, do,
I) The state of Montana has instituted a new "Stuff you had not idea could kill you" fee.
J) The small town of Tea Party, Texas, with the lowest taxes in the nation, was disolved today after the last two citizens died in a head-on collision. Both had "Opted Out" of the "Stop Sign Erection" fee.
K) An Alabama legislator has suggested an optional program for "know-it all's who lack enough imagination to realize they are idiots" fee of $1 million.
L) The "Playing with Matches" fee was paid by 97% of the residents of Flash Fire, Arizona. It was not enough.
M) Websters announced today the term "Tax Payer" is being dropped from the dictionary. Uses are urged to instead use the term "Sucker".
N) For the third year in a row, the most often used term in government documents was again, "What you don't know could kill you."
Sunday, October 3, 2010
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 3, 2010
When Nicandra Diaz-Santillan, asked her boss, California Republican candidate Meg Whitman, for help getting an immigration attorney “Ms. Whitman just laughed and turn her face to one side….Dr. Harsh was very angry and said, "I told you, I told you she was going to bring us problems!” If this drama were an Alfred Hitchcock movie, which one would it be?
A) Easy Virtue (1928)
B) Blackmail (1929)
C) Rich and Strange (1931)
D) The Lady Vanishes (1938)
E) Suspicion (1941)
F) Saboteur (1942)
G) Shadow of a Doubt (1943)
H) Spellbound (1945)
I) Notorious (1946)
J) I Confess (1953)
K) Psycho (1960)
L) The Birds (1963)
M) Family Plot (1976)
A) Easy Virtue (1928)
B) Blackmail (1929)
C) Rich and Strange (1931)
D) The Lady Vanishes (1938)
E) Suspicion (1941)
F) Saboteur (1942)
G) Shadow of a Doubt (1943)
H) Spellbound (1945)
I) Notorious (1946)
J) I Confess (1953)
K) Psycho (1960)
L) The Birds (1963)
M) Family Plot (1976)
Friday, October 1, 2010
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 1, 2010
Carl Paladino, Republican-Tea Candidate for governor, has now admitted he has no evidence Democrat opponent had extra-marital affairs. "It's not that I was accusing him." Paladino's new campaign song should be....
A) "I'm Sorry" - Patsy Cline
B) "Still Crazy After All These Years" - Paul Simon
C) "They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!" Napoleon IV
D) "Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting" Elton John
E) "The Thorazine Shuffle" - Savatage
F) "Kung Fu Fighting" - Carl Douglas
G) "I'm So Angry" - Alice Cooper
H) "Make the World Go Away." -Eddy Arnold
I) "Liar, Liar" - The Castaways
J) "Just Dropped in to See What Condition My Condition Was In" - Mickey Newbury
K) "Lost Control" - Grinspoon
L) "I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!" - Merle Haggard
M) "19th Nervous Breakdown" - The Rolling Stones
N) "I Put A Spell On You" - Creedence Clearwater Revival
0) "Stupid" - Frustrators
A) "I'm Sorry" - Patsy Cline
B) "Still Crazy After All These Years" - Paul Simon
C) "They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!" Napoleon IV
D) "Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting" Elton John
E) "The Thorazine Shuffle" - Savatage
F) "Kung Fu Fighting" - Carl Douglas
G) "I'm So Angry" - Alice Cooper
H) "Make the World Go Away." -Eddy Arnold
I) "Liar, Liar" - The Castaways
J) "Just Dropped in to See What Condition My Condition Was In" - Mickey Newbury
K) "Lost Control" - Grinspoon
L) "I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!" - Merle Haggard
M) "19th Nervous Breakdown" - The Rolling Stones
N) "I Put A Spell On You" - Creedence Clearwater Revival
0) "Stupid" - Frustrators
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