THE FEDERAL ELECTION COMMISSION SAYS REP. JOHN BOEHNER (R-Ohio) HAS SPENT $82,998 ON GOLF THIS YEAR. HIS BEST JUSTIFICIATION IS...
A) Putt-Putt is just not good enough for Government work.
B) Basketball is so blue collar.
C) He is still trying to perfect his slice to the right.
D) You meet so many minorities on a golf course; tending the greens and carrying clubs.
E) John is keeping his putter in prime condition.
F) John is guarding all the Republican balls. He can't afford to lose a single one.
G) Sand traps. If you don't keep an eye on them, they start to breed.
H) John has been studying the links between home forclosures and crab grass.
I) John is engaged in looking for illegal aliens hiding in clubhouse bars and showers.
J) John has been meeting his true constituants - white guys in shorts and spikes.
K) Hey, its exhausting doing nothing all the time. You try it.
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