FRIDAY, MARCH 15, 2013 YO-HO-HO- AND A BOTTLE OF PEPTO BISMO

If you can't afford a Carnival Cruise, which alternative get-away would be the best approximate?

A) Hang out near a port-a-potty at the beach

B) Cancun weekend with Jodi Arias

C) Lunch at the “Smelly-Handed Waiter” Restaurant

D) Weekend at the Bermuda Typhoid Mary Club Resort

E) Titanic “Glacier Bay” Cruise

F) Hannibal Lecter Lean Cuisine Hawaiian Luau

G) Denny's kitchen tour

H) Cpac 2013

I) Weekend with the Kardashians

J) Cannibal Cop Gilberto Valle's dinning on Al Fresco in Little Italy, Manhattan

K) Mothers Day bunga bunga brunch with Silvio Berlusconi

L) Eating your own road-kill with Wayne LaPierre

M) Yom Kipper with Lance Armstrong

N) Self guiding tour of an ipecac factory

O) Being Lindsay Lohan's lawyer week.

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FRIDAY, MARCH 8, 2013 DRONING ON AND ON

In his filibuster of CIA designate John Brennan, Senator Rand Paul most reminds you of which personality currently in the media?

A) Jodi Araias

B) Batman

C) Lindsey Lohan

D) Hugo Chavez

E) Dennis Rodman

F) George Zimmerman

G) Wayne Lapierre

H) Lance Armstrong

I) Kim Jong Un

J) Antonin Scalia

K) Seth Rogan

L) Kristen Stewart

M) Lewis Black

N) Silvio Berlusconi

O) Shia Labeouf

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SUNDAY, MARCH 3, 2013 HOW MUCH WORSE COULD IT BE?

Which show would attract the least public notice if C-Span were to run it instead of the House of Representatives?

A) Toddlers and Tiaras

B) Keeping Up with the Kardasians

C) I survived a Japanese Game Show

D) Walking Dead

E) Game of Thrones

F) Survivor

G) The Bachelorette

H) Jersey Shore

I) Moonlight

J) American Idol

K) Anger Management

L) Here Comes Honey Boo Boo

M) Downton Abbey

N) To Catch a Predator

O) Mob Wives

FRIDAY, MARCH 1, 2013 OH, HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN

What are the worst threats made against Bob Woodward by the Obama White House?

A) POTUS will poo his posts, permanently

B) Richard Nixon no longer takes his calls

C) W.H. Cafeteria soup of the day: Chicken Noodle

D) Chewing gum stuck on his shoe by W.H. operative

E) Twitter “Ul never work in this town again”

F) Front door – dog poop - paper bag – lighter fluid.

G) He's off the Friendemies list

H) POTUS not promptly petrified of his potential publications

I) His Disney World Passport not promptly renewed

J) “Bob Woodward Appreciation Day” might be canceled

K) WashPost Company stockholders ask what his salary is.

L) Press Corps ordered to pretend not to recognize him

M) Phony pundits parody his pompous performance

N) W.H. whisper campaign; “Who's the old white guy with the big head?”

O) W.H. hints he's irrelevant

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