SUNDAY, AUGUST 19, 2012 PROOF OF LIFE

This week NASA's Rover “Curiosity” will begin its first drive, 1,600 feet across the Martian landscape. Which discovery would you consider best proof of intelligent life on Mars?

A) There is no Republican party on Mars

B) Fossilized Micro-bacteria cells

C) A locked file cabinet containing Mitt Rooney’s complete 2006 – 2009 tax returns

D) Extensive methane-hydrate deposits

E) Subterranean strata of empty Tang jars

F) An 8-track tape of William Shatter singing “Mr. Tambourine Man”

G) There is no Mars edition of Vogue

H) An abandoned Krispy Creme donut shop

I) You cannot buy a Martian Amway dealership - yet

J) The secret retirement homes of Tom Delay, Alan Greenspan, and Ken Lay (Yeah, right. He's dead. Uh      

    huh.)

K) The bodies of three laid-off joke writers from the Tonight Show

L) A very unflattering painting of Anna Wintour

M) TLC has yet to develop a Martian “reality” show

N) No “home-schooling” on Mars

O) “Atlas Shrugged” still not considered literature, on Mars