TUESDAY, JANUARY 10, 2012 Primarily a Pain In the Ass

Which do you think is the most likely justification the News Media will give for claiming Mitt Romney actually lost the New Hampshire primary?


A) Mitt gets less than 50% of the vote

B) Mitt gets less than 40% of the vote

C) Mitt gets less than 35% of the vote

D) Mitt gets fewer votes than Ron Paul

E) In his acceptance speech Mitt coughs up bile.

F) In his acceptance speech a clearly drunk Mitt asks, “What the hell do you people want from me?”

G) During his acceptance speech Mitt begins flashing colors like a panicked cuttle fish.

H) In his concession speech, Newt Gingrich tells his supporters, “This is the happiest day of my life.”

I) Ron Paul asks, “What day is this?” during his acceptance speech.

J) In his first new North Carolina ad, Mitt alleges John Huntsman belongs to a cult.

K) At his last campaign stop Mitt admits New Hampshire has “too many damn trees”.

L) Mitt loses the crucial “65 year old high school drop-out named Maude” demographic

M) Mitt loses the crucial “servents in his own N.H. vacation house” demographic.

N) On Wednesday morning, Mitt buys New Hampshire and fires everybody

O) Mitt loses the crucial New Hampshire Republican African-American demographic