WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 31, 2011. THE HAND OF GOD

Rep. Michelle Bachmann from Minnesota “joked” that Hurricane Irene was a judgement from God on progressives for their sinful ways. What other hilarious jokes from God did Michelle miss?


A) The Texas drought

B) The June 1892 Tornado that swept across soutern Minnesota, killing 12.

C) The 2008 flooding in Preston, Austin and Hafield Mnnesota

D) The 2010 flooding in 21 Minnisota counties.

E) The December 2007 storm that dumped 8 inches of snow on Minnesota and caused 338 automobile accidents.

F) The December 2009 blizzard that dumped 27 inches of snow on Minnesota.

G) The blizzard of November 11, 1940 that killed 49 duck hunters and 2 people in a head on train colision, all in Minnesota

H) The May 1998 tornado outbreak that killed one and cost $1 billion in damages.

I) The 1995 “derecho” straight-line wind storms that blew down 5 million trees and killed 6 people in Minnisota.

J) The 2006 tornado that killed one and caused $30 million in damgages in Minnesota

K) The 2008 flooding in Mason, Minnesota.

L) The May 25th , 2008 tornado that killed a two year old boy and caused $25.3 million in damages

M) The 24 Tornados that caused $4.5 millon in damages during 2009 in Minnesota

N) The June 1919 Tornado that killed 57 in Fergus Falls, Minnesota

O) Having Michele Bachman as a Congresswoman.

SUNDAY AUGUST 28, 2011 I'VE GOT MINE, ,MATE!

According to TPM 8/25/11, a spokeswoman for Majority Leader Eric Cantor said, “additional funds for (Irene)disaster relief ought to be offset with spending cuts." What is Eric Cantor's favorite Christian rock song?


A) Who I Am - Casting Crowns

B) Hurricane - Samestate

C) Bring the Rain – MercyMe

D) Is It Raining At Your House – Brad Paisely

E) Four Strong Winds - Johnny Cash

F) Lead Me To The Cross - Chriss and Conrad

G) Walk On Water - Britt Nicole

H) Slow Fade - Casting Crowns

I) Put It On The Alter - Jessica Reedy

J) Empty Me – Chris Sligh

K) Hold Me Jesus – Big Daddy Weave

L) Let The Waters Rise - Mikes Chair

M) This Little Light - Rapture Ruckus

N) Drifting - Plumb

O) Send Your Rain - Clint Brown

FRIDAY AUGUST 26, 2011 RIDING A PALE HORSE

Politico 8/23/'11 - “Conservative elites pine for 2012 hero” Who will come to the rescue of the GOP intellectuals?


A) Arnold Swartzenegger

B) Ronald Regean

C) William F. Buckley Sr.

D) John Wayne

E) Herbert Hoover

F) J.Edgar Hoover

G) Senator Joseph McCarthy

H) General Douglas McAurthur

I) Charlie McCarthy

J) Superman

K) Lex Luthor

L) Lamont Cranston

M) Senator Barry Goldwater

N) Vitto Corlenoe

O) Wonderwoman

SUNDAY AUGUST 21, 2011 DEAD END

According to The Fix (WP 8/19/11) “Bachmann’s campaign was built on buzz.....(says) Democratic pollster Fred Yang, “She may need to find some other issues to grain traction.” What other issue should she shift to?

A) Alien abduction. Chupacabra is just the latest illegal threat.

B) Her pick for Vice President; Rick Perry

C) Home Schooling. A little less home for a lot less school.

D) Blowing the lid off the Jimmy Carter/swine flu/AIDS conspiracy at NIH

E) Achieve the flat tax/no minimum wage non-union heaven in America

F) Raise revenue by marketing our brand: IE, Bryers, the official Ice Cream of America.

G) The number of the U.S. Census is 6-6-6.

H) Florescent lights blind Americans to the green socialist threat.

I) Two dollar a gallon gasoline – it worked for Caesar Chavez.

J) Global warming is a myth caused by people not breathing enough carbon dioxide.

K) Minnesota; America's heartland, not its brain land.

L) Higher education is drug slang for lazy doping unionized teachers

M) The Tea Party is the future-past of America. .

N) Teachers should be replaced with unpaid subservient housewives

O) Lazy unemployed people are responsible for the recession. The nation was doing fine until they went on the public dole.

FRIDAY AUGUST 19, 2011 Empty Words

On Obama's bus tour, the favorite C&W song amongst the White House speech writers was...?


A) STAND BY YOUR MAN Tammy Whynette

B) ONE WAY TICKET LeeAnn Rimes

C) A LITTLE LESS TALK Toby Keith

D) SMOKE RINGS IN THE DARK Cary Allan

E) FISHING IN THE DARK Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

F) I'M SO LONESOME I COULD CRY Hank Williams

G) LOOKIN' AT THE WORLD THROUGH A WINDSHIELD Del Reeves

H) ARE YOU SURE HANK DONE IT THIS WAY Wayland Jennings

I) A THOUSAND MILES FROM NOWHERE Dwight Yokum

J) THE GAMBLER Kenny Rogers

K) TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT Jonny Paycheck

L) KING OF THE ROAD Roger Miller

M) ALMOST PERSUADED David Houston

N) RHINSTONE COWBOY Glen Cambell

O) HERE YOU COME AGAIN Dolly Parton

WEDNESDAY AUGUST 16, 2011 The Day After....

Since Rick Perry has entered the race, what is Michele Bachman's favorite song?


A) Don't Rain On My Parade   Barbara Streisand

B) Since You Been Gone   Kelly Clarkson


C) Cry Me A River   Justin Timberlake

D) The Show Goes On   Lupe Fiasco

E) Angry Again   Megadeath

F) Till The World Ends   Britney Spears

G) Crazy Girl   Eli Young Band

H) Song For the Dumped   Ben Folds Five

I) Love Done Gone   Billy Currington

J) Let A Ho Be a Ho.    Geto Boys

K) Never Gonna Leave This Bed   Maroon Five

L) If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away   Justin Moore

M) She's Got Issues   The Offspring

N) Don't Stop The Party   Black Eyed Peas

O) Your Own Disaster   Taking Back Sunday

SUNDAY, AUGUST 14, 2011 Life's A Stage

THIS IOWA STRAW POLE WAS MOST LIKE WHICH BOADWAY PLAY?

A)  Much Ado About Nothing.

B)  How to Succeed in Politics Without Really Succeeding.

C)  Taming The MILF

D)  The Herman Cain Mutiny

E)  The Four Year Itch

F)  Pawlenty's Labor Lost

G)  Tempest In A Tea Party Pot

H)  Deathtrap!

I)  The Book On Mormans

J)  Arsenic And Old Face

K)  Rick Santorum: Bring On The Dark

L)  Sarah Get Your Gun

M)  The Best Little Whorehouse In Iowa

N)  Comedy of Errors in a Press Corpse

O)  The Lyin' King

WEDNESDAY AUGUST 10, 2011 No News Is Good News

Non-Economy catastrophe headlines. And your favorite is...?


A) Doctors Find Uterus In Indian Man (Internet Broadcasting. 8/4/11)

B) Republicans Turned Off By Size of Obama's Package (Reuters 3/9/10 )

C) He Was Naked, On Crack and in Alligator’s Mouth (Seattle Times 12/1/06)

D) Ex-Dictator Broke, Living With Mom (AP 7/25/02)

E) Stephen King Impersonator Steals 5,000 Lobsters (London Independent 10/28/'94)

F) Snakes On The Train! Dozens Flee Rail Terror (SkyNews 5/30/11)

G) Pisa bans penis-themed Leaning Tower trinkets (London Daily Mail 8/5/11)

H) Obama A Maria Carie Fan (The Hindu 12/18/10)

I) Buddhists liberate lobsters (Reuters 8/4/11)

J) O BLINKS - Open to GOP's Plan With No Tax Hike (NY Post )

K) Swedish lesbians forced to pay more for sperm. (http://www.thelocal.se/35424/20110808/ )

L) Breast milk ice cream confiscated over safety concerns (International Business Times 3/1//11)

M) Woman in labor finishes bar exam (Chicago Tribune 8/3/11)

N) Ex-La. gov, 83, marries 32-year-old prison pen pal (AP 7/29/11)

O) New Zealand goldfish survive 134 days without food (AP 7/26/11)

WEDNESDAY AUGUST 3, 2011 AS WE QUICKLY GO DOWN THE DRAIN

Why did Barack Obama want to be President?


A) He thought it would look really good on his resume when he applies for a job at Fox News.

B) He wanted to take ownership of the Bush economy.

C) He had a dream. Of course he never remembers his dreams.

D) He was hoping to remake the image of Democrats as loosers. Now they are really big loosers.

E) He's never failed before. He wanted to try it.

F) Peter Principle. Right, again.

G) It's the only way a guy who looks like him can win on “The Biggest Looser”.

H) Hell, he still hasn't figured out yet why he's a Democrat.

I) He has a secret plan to bankrupt China. It's not a good plan. But it's still a secret.

J) He's President? Of what? Losers anonymous?

K) He wanted to create jobs. Okay, just kidding. He has no idea.

L) He wants to prove you can trust Republicans. And he won't give up until he proves it.

M) I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. What was the question, again?.

N) It could be worse. He could be John McCann. Oh, wait... basically he is.

0) His speechwriters haven't told him yet.