SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2010

What Christmas present do you think we should buy Republican Senator Mitch McConnel?


A) A personality

B) A life time supply of Tea bags.

C) A gift card for free services at a Bowling Green ophthalmologist.

D) A new editor at the his home town paper, the Louisville Courier-Journal,

E) For Barak Obama to remain a political jelly fish

F) Another package from UPS, delivered to Mitch's Senate offices.

G) Another $833,000 from Toyota.

H) For theFor the Justice Department to drop its investigation of a certain generous British Defense Corporation.

I) A better personality.

J) For Sarah Palin to develope llaryngitis and reumatism.

K) For Rand Paul to learn to respect his elders.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 2010

What was the funniest thing Tom Delay said after his conviction?


A) "This is an abuse of power."

B) "It's a miscarriage of justice."

C) "I praise the Lord for what's going on."

D) “I’m not going to blame anybody.”

E) "The criminalization of politics undermines our system.”

F) "I still maintain that I am innocent."

G) I'm very disappointed in the outcome,"

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 2010

Now that Dancing With The Stars season has ended, where will Sarah send Bristol Next?


A) A guest spot on "Law And Order- Special Victims"

B) A re-occuring role on "Two and A-Half Men", as Charles' new girllfriend

C) A re-occuring role on "Two and A-half Men" as Alan's new girlfriend.

D) A re-occuring role on "Two and A-Half Men" as Jakes new girlfriend.

E) A guest spot on "Wheel of Fortune"

F) A guest spot on "House" as a patient with a mysterious illness, and a pushy mother, whom House hates and yet finds attractive

G) A guest spot on "Family Feud".

H) A re-occuring role on the soap opera "One Life To Live"

I) Spokeswoman for "Today - the Vaginal Contraceptive Sponge"

J) A guest spot on "How I Met Your Mother" as the woman who marries Barney Stinson

K) Her own show, to be called "How I hate my Mother in Alaska".

L) A guest spot on "Dr. Phil".

M) A re-occuring role on "Dr Phil"

N) A guest spot on "Kate Plus 8"

O) Her own sitcom to be called "The Flunky", in which she is the assistant of cruel and thoughtless boss, who is never seen, al "Charley's Angels"

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 21, 2010

Last Year the bird pardoned by the president was named "Courage". What should this year's biggest Turkey be named?


A) "Loser"

B) "Rangel"

C) "START"

D) "Mitch"

E) "Boehner"

F) "Sarah"

G) "Compromise"

H) “Morning Joe”

I) "Surender Monkey"

J) "Barak"

K) "Maxine"

L) "T-S-A"

M) "Birch"

N) "Steele"

O) "Wall Street"

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 2010

What song were GOP leadership singing when they stood up President Obama?


A) "One Way Or Another" - Blondie

B) "You're So Vain" - by Carly Simon

C) "How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You, When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?" Fred Astaire

D) "I Thought I Told You to Wait in the Car" Sparks

E) "Ob-La Di Ob-La Da" Beatles

F) "I'm Sitting on Top of the World" Al Jolson

G) "Another one bites the Dust" Queen

H) "Another one rides the bus" "Weird Al" Yankovic

I) "Blinded by the Light" Manfred Mann

J) "Crazy" IceHouse

K) "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" Tears for Fears

L) "The Future's So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades" Timbuk 3

M) "Hysteria" Def Leppard

N) "I think I'm a clone now" "Weird Al" Yankovic

O) "Joyride" Roxette

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2010

What is next after "Sarah Palin's Alaska"?


A) Sarah Palin's Hell's Kitchen North.

B) Sarah Palin's Bridge to 1894.

C) Sarah Palin's Apocalypse, You Betcha.

D) Sarah Palin's New American Language. This week, the advantage of the run on sentence when you have no idea what you are talking about and you have to talk for at least forty minutes to get paid, and you don't want to sound like you are just filling space and troops and freedom and patriotism, the flag and evil liberals and

E) Sarah Palin Does Shakespere: You Betcha or not to Betcha That is a question.

F) Sarah Palin's Alaska Shore: After a late night fundraiser, Sarah loses her cell phone and has to talk to her hand.

G) Sarah Palin's Royal Wedding: Sarah anchors Fox News' coverage. Are they called Welsh because they don't pay their debts?

H) Sarah Palin's Russia. Week One: That's Kodiak? I thought that was Russia. Never mind.

I) Sarah Palin's All in the Family. Bristol marries a Polish orthodox Jew, and they move in.

J) Sarah Palin's North End.

K) Sarah Palin's Guide to Parenting.

L) Sarah Palin's Guide to the Arts. Week One; Paint by the Numbers. Its just like politics.

M) Sarah Palin's Other Places I've Never Been Before. Week One: a library.

N) Sarah Palin's Meglomania. It's not just a word.

O) I just wish her well. Because if the show get's picked up she may drop the politics.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 2010

Cindy McCain now says she supports her husband's threat to filibuster "Don't Ask, Don't Tell". What song will she be singing in the shower tomorrow morning?


A) “What Made you Say That” – Shania Twain

B) “Maybe I Mean Yes” – Holly Dunn

C) “She Thinks His Name Was John” – Reba McEntire

D) “I Wish I Was A Single Girl Again” – Maddox Brothers & Rose

E) “Stand By Your Man” – Tammy Wynette

F) "I'm a Loser" The Beatles

G) "If I Could Turn Back Time" Cher

H) "I Will Survive" Gloria Gaynor

I) "Unbelievable" EMF

J) "Ain’t It Funny" – Jennifer Lop

K) "Give Me Novacaine" Green Day

L) "Dancing Queen" Abba

M) "You Make Me Feel Stupid" Gessle

N) "I'm with Stupid" Static-X

O) "Things You Make Me Do" Robin Thicke

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 1020

Michele Bachmann (Tea Party R Minn.) has dropped her bid for GOP conference chairwoman. What other GOP leadership position should she be seeking?


A) Chairwoman on the House Subcomittee on Psychoactive drugs.

B) Chairwoman on the House Subcomittee on Galactic Sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha.

C) Chairwoman to promote February 18th as 'Panet Pluto Day'

D) Chief Congressional Loon.

E) Head Congressional Loon

F) Chairwoman of House Subcomittee to limit zoological classifications to only the 281 offically recognized as being on Noah's Ark.

G) Chairwoman on the House Subcomittee on puerile thinking,

H) Chairwoman on the House Subcomittee on witlessness dementia.

I) Chairwoman on the House Subcomittee on being kept busy in another room so the adults can get their work done.

J) Chairwoman on the House Subcomittee on why this wacko is entitled to health insurance and a pension.

K) Chairwoman on House Subcomittee on "my name is ALICE, my husband's name is AL, we live in ALABAMA and we bring back APPLES"

L) Chairwoman on House Subcomittee on finding Elvis in the Bermuda Triangle

M) Chairwoman on House Subcomittee for Mordor.

N) Chairwoman on House Subcomittee on floridation and fumigation.

O) Chairoman on House Subcomitee for something really impoortant and really secret and we can't even tell her.

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 10, 2010

What would you guess is Keith Olbermann's favorite Rolling Stone song?


A) Blinded by Rainbows

B) Get Off of My Cloud

C) You Got Me Rocking

D) Ride On, Baby

E) Plundered My Soul

F) Infamy

G) Let It Bleed

H) Memo from Turner

I) Something Happened to Me Yesterday

J) Sympathy for the Devil

K) 19th Nervous Breakdown

L) As Tears Go By

M) This Place Is Empty

N) Yesterday's Papers

O) You Can't Always Get What You Want

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 2010

Barak Obama still offers his hand to Republicans. What movie line should he be using?


A) "Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race." Kill Bill, Vol Two

B) "Wise man say forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza." Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

C) "Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?" 2001: A Space Oddesey

D) "Ernest Hemingway once wrote, "The world is a fine place and worth fighting for." I agree with the second part. " Se7en

E) "Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'. That's goddamn right." The Shawshank Redemption

F) "Nobody can survive in the adult world if they just stick to the truth." Liar Liar

G) "This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!!" The Big Lebowski

H) "28 days... six hours... 42 minutes... 12 seconds. That... is when the world... will end. " Donnie Darko

I) "Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming..." - Finding Nemo

J) "You're just jealous cause I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask!" Batman Returns.

K) "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?" Batman

L) "Do you understand the words that are comin' outta my mouth?" Rush Hour

M) "I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule." Clerks

N) "I'm familiar with the fact that you're going to ignore this particluar problem until it swims up and bites you on the ass!" Jaws

O) "Hey! You got your tail in my peanut butter!" Avatar. (actually written by my wife)

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 5, 2010

MICHELE BACHMANN NOW WANTS A LEADERSHIP ROLE IN THE REPUBLICAN PARTY. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MICHELE QUOTE?


A) "We’re seeing the fulfillment of the Book of Judges here in our own time." March 6, 2004.

B) "Cry out to a Holy God. He wants to hear us, He will hear us if we will confess our sins and cry out to Him. Our children are worth it and obedience to God demands it.” ibid

C) “It isn’t that some gay will get some rights. It’s that everyone else in our state will lose rights." ibid

D) “We are wide open and vulnerable and in all likelihood an activist judge will strike down our Defense of Marriage Act, our state law against gay marriage, this year." March 20, 2004.

E) "I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out under another, then under another Democrat president, Jimmy Carter." April 28, 2009

F) "During the last 100 days we have seen an orgy. It would make any local smorgasbord embarrassed … The government spent its wad by April 26." May 2009

G) "There isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas." April, 2009

H) "There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design." Oct. 2006

I) "I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back." March 2009

J) "We're running out of rich people in this country."Feb. 2009

K) "I think people are thrilled tonight, I imagine that thrill is probably not so tingly on your leg anymore." Nov. 2, 2010

L) "I never wanted to amend the constitution." May 12, 2005

M) "Literally, if we took away the minimum wage...we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment" January 26, 2005

N) "If we allow businesses to be prosperous and accrue capital, they’ll be giving their employees more than they can even begin to imagine." ibid

O) "I don't think I give as much credence to my own mind, because I see myself as being very limited and very flawed, and lacking in knowledge, and wisdom and understanding." September 29, 2003.

NOVEMBER 3, 2010

Whom do the Democrats find to replace Barak Obama?


A) Anybody but Obama.

B) Somebody who remembers why they became Democrats.

C) Anybody but Obama. As George Bush proved, the American people will follow a leader off the cliff, if he just leads

D) Barny Frank.

E) Somebody taller than Barney Frank

F) How about a woman? Any woman with more balls than Obama.

G) Hillary Clinton. (note: lose the damn pant suits)

H) Anybody but Obama.

I) No, seriously, anybody but Obama.

J) Joe Bidden.