THE G.O.P.'S GOAL IS TO...
A) Stop the progressive movement.
B) Prevent America from turning into a fruity faggy Socialist State
C) Stop French cultural expansion in its tracks.
D) Find proof that FDR was a believer in Satan.
E) Make people afraid. Very afraid.
F) Protect our phony-baloney jobs, gentleman.
G) A little sidestep.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
August 23, 2009
BARAK OBAMA DESERVES AN AWARD FOR...
A) Going from Champ to Chump in eight months.
B) Proving that being a Leader does not work when you follow.
C) Not understanding the word "balls".
D) Forgetting the issue was "Health Care", not "Bi-partisanship".
E) Losing to the biggest losers in fifty years.
F) Making George Bush look competant.
A) Going from Champ to Chump in eight months.
B) Proving that being a Leader does not work when you follow.
C) Not understanding the word "balls".
D) Forgetting the issue was "Health Care", not "Bi-partisanship".
E) Losing to the biggest losers in fifty years.
F) Making George Bush look competant.
Friday, August 21, 2009
AUGUST 21, 2009
ON HIS WEEK LONG VACATION GLENN BECK WILL...
A) Cry.
B) Have a Florshiem-ectity - removing his foot from his mouth again.
C) Have a sense decency transplant
D) Reverse the earlier operation which had his butt sewn to the top of his neck!
E) Surry under the refrigerator with all the other cockroaches.
F) Sue Fox. They knew what he was when they hired him.
G) The usual; snivel, snipe, suckup and slink.
H) Look for a dog who won't learn to despise him.
I) Attend the World Wide Weasel convention.
A) Cry.
B) Have a Florshiem-ectity - removing his foot from his mouth again.
C) Have a sense decency transplant
D) Reverse the earlier operation which had his butt sewn to the top of his neck!
E) Surry under the refrigerator with all the other cockroaches.
F) Sue Fox. They knew what he was when they hired him.
G) The usual; snivel, snipe, suckup and slink.
H) Look for a dog who won't learn to despise him.
I) Attend the World Wide Weasel convention.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
AUGUST 16, 2009
EX-GOP MAJORITY LEADER DICK ARMEY, WHO HAS BEEN ORGANIZING THE ANIT-HEALTH CARE CAMPAIGN, RESIGNING FROM HIS LAW FIRM IS MOST LIKE...
A) Paula Abdul leaving American Idol because of money
B) Jimmy "the snitch" Bravano leaving the mafia to turn states evidence
C) Admiral Yamamoto leaving the Japanese Navy in WWII because he was killed
D) A flea leaving a dog because it got wet.
A) Paula Abdul leaving American Idol because of money
B) Jimmy "the snitch" Bravano leaving the mafia to turn states evidence
C) Admiral Yamamoto leaving the Japanese Navy in WWII because he was killed
D) A flea leaving a dog because it got wet.
Friday, August 14, 2009
AUGUST 14, 2009
HEALTH CARE REFORM IS...
A) Dead as a doornail
B) Victim to the desire for compromise with the G.O.P.
C) Victim to Obama's lack of concentration
D) Victim to the Republican lack of morality.
E) Victim to fifty years of GOP lies about government
F) Victim to the public's bailout fatigue
G) On life support but not dead, yet
H) Now a possible second term agenda item.
I) Going to have to wait until some health care CEO's go to jail
J) A perfect example. The G.O.P ain’t reasonable until they are dead
A) Dead as a doornail
B) Victim to the desire for compromise with the G.O.P.
C) Victim to Obama's lack of concentration
D) Victim to the Republican lack of morality.
E) Victim to fifty years of GOP lies about government
F) Victim to the public's bailout fatigue
G) On life support but not dead, yet
H) Now a possible second term agenda item.
I) Going to have to wait until some health care CEO's go to jail
J) A perfect example. The G.O.P ain’t reasonable until they are dead
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
AUGUST 12, 2009
SARA PALIN SHOULD...
A) Be on the White House payroll as the true face of the lunatic fringe.
B) Be under hormone therapy
C) Be given a breathalizer. This woman is displaying all the signs of hidden alchoholism.
D) Stop giving cougars a bad name
E) Have her head examined. Is there a brain in there or not? Inquiring people want to know.
F) At least be acknowledged for her honesty. She is a pit bull with lipstick.
G) Be allowed to tweet herself to death.
H) Be compared to God. If she did not exist, liberals would have to invent her.
A) Be on the White House payroll as the true face of the lunatic fringe.
B) Be under hormone therapy
C) Be given a breathalizer. This woman is displaying all the signs of hidden alchoholism.
D) Stop giving cougars a bad name
E) Have her head examined. Is there a brain in there or not? Inquiring people want to know.
F) At least be acknowledged for her honesty. She is a pit bull with lipstick.
G) Be allowed to tweet herself to death.
H) Be compared to God. If she did not exist, liberals would have to invent her.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
AUGUST 9, 2009
THE WASHINGTON PRESS CORPS IS OBSESSED WITH...
A) TRUTH
B) SCOOPS
C) HEADLINES.
D) ACCURACY.
E) PROTECTING THEIR REPUTATIONS
G) THEIR OWN NAVELS.
A) TRUTH
B) SCOOPS
C) HEADLINES.
D) ACCURACY.
E) PROTECTING THEIR REPUTATIONS
G) THEIR OWN NAVELS.
Friday, August 7, 2009
AUGUST 7, 2009
THE WHITE HOUSE OPPOSITION TO ATTACKS ON BLUE DOGS IS...
A) Confusing. Does Obama think anybody is right? Or are we all equally wrong?
B) Stupid. Governing is about making choices.
C) Blind. Bi-partanship was not how he got elected.
D) Obtuse. When do we fight back? After our throat is cut?
E) Nieve. Trusting this generation of Republicans is like letting an angry pit bull baby sit your infant.
F) Noble. So what is he doing in politics?
A) Confusing. Does Obama think anybody is right? Or are we all equally wrong?
B) Stupid. Governing is about making choices.
C) Blind. Bi-partanship was not how he got elected.
D) Obtuse. When do we fight back? After our throat is cut?
E) Nieve. Trusting this generation of Republicans is like letting an angry pit bull baby sit your infant.
F) Noble. So what is he doing in politics?
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
AUGUST 5, 2009
THE WHITE HOUSE COUNTER-OFFENSIVE ON HEALTH CARE IS...
A) Too little too late
B) Should have been planned from the beginning
C) Seems to violate P.T. Barnum's rule about over-estimating the intelligence of the public
D) Seems to forget the TV networks are hooked on drug ads.
E) Sounds like a campaign for high school class president.
F) Armature night.
A) Too little too late
B) Should have been planned from the beginning
C) Seems to violate P.T. Barnum's rule about over-estimating the intelligence of the public
D) Seems to forget the TV networks are hooked on drug ads.
E) Sounds like a campaign for high school class president.
F) Armature night.
Monday, August 3, 2009
AUGUST 3, 2009
PROFESSOR GATES HAS BEEN MAKING LIGHT OF HIS ARREST BY OFFICER CROWLY. HIS BEST JOKE WOULD BE...
A) A LAWSUIT FOR FALSE ARREST.
B) IF HIS HOUSEKEEPER WERE BURIED IN THE GARDEN
C) IF CROWLY WERE TO ARREST SOME SOME GOP
NATIONAL RIFE ASSOCIATION REPUBLICAN
HYPOCRITE IN HIS HOME FOR "PUBLIC DISORDER"
A) A LAWSUIT FOR FALSE ARREST.
B) IF HIS HOUSEKEEPER WERE BURIED IN THE GARDEN
C) IF CROWLY WERE TO ARREST SOME SOME GOP
NATIONAL RIFE ASSOCIATION REPUBLICAN
HYPOCRITE IN HIS HOME FOR "PUBLIC DISORDER"
Sunday, August 2, 2009
AUGUST 2, 2008
KEITH OBERMAN SHOULD START MONDAY'S SHOW BY...
A) Blasting Billo more than ever.
B) Explaining if he has been jerking us around for the last two
years.
C) Explaining just who he works for; the viewers or the head of NBC entertainment.
D) Explaining why we should trust him anymore.
E) Explaining how he is morally different than Billo.
F) Explaining how he could get fired for telling the truth.
G) Explaining the Great Compromise in detail
H) Appologizing for lowering himself to The Big Giant Head's level.
I) Sit and Fetch on air for the suits at NBC.
J) Name the suits who concocted this story.
K) Just start talking. Let's see what comes out. Otherwise we have to go to Billo to get the news.
A) Blasting Billo more than ever.
B) Explaining if he has been jerking us around for the last two
years.
C) Explaining just who he works for; the viewers or the head of NBC entertainment.
D) Explaining why we should trust him anymore.
E) Explaining how he is morally different than Billo.
F) Explaining how he could get fired for telling the truth.
G) Explaining the Great Compromise in detail
H) Appologizing for lowering himself to The Big Giant Head's level.
I) Sit and Fetch on air for the suits at NBC.
J) Name the suits who concocted this story.
K) Just start talking. Let's see what comes out. Otherwise we have to go to Billo to get the news.
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